The other morning I woke up exhausted. I didn't feel like getting ready at all! I told myself that I had given up make up for lent, so I could just dress down, and if anyone said anything, I would use my Lenten sacrifice as an excuse. As I got up and started getting my school bag together though, this scripture passage came to mind:
“And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you." - Mt. 6:16-18
The point of fasting or giving up something is not to let everyone know that you are fasting, the point is to develop virtue through your sacrifice. Most times, when we put on make-up, it is to receive worldly praise. We get comments from people when we wear make-up, and we get comments from people when we don't wear make-up. These comments can warp our goal when applying make-up. Instead of wearing it to draw attention to ourselves and our own egos, we should wear it to draw attention to the beauty that God created; the way He created it. We need to let go of this world and cling to the Heavenly.
The virtue that I feel fits into this and that I am growing in is universal mortification. This means, seeking the benefits of Heaven and the glory of God, and relinquishing the glories of the world. It means recognizing the empty and frivolous essence of the promises of the world, and giving those up to attain fruitful and eternal promises of God. In reference to our image, the world promises us recognition about external and material things: what your body looks like, how well you dress, how you do your hair, etc.
But what is important is your soul!
Instead of focusing on the latest trend, the perfect weight, or the newest material possession, let’s focus on gaining virtue, increasing knowledge, and frequenting prayer and the sacraments.
I also feel that I am growing in true humility. Fulton Sheen sees humility as accepting the truth about yourself. This means, not only do we grow in humility through humiliations, when we recognize our flaws and weaknesses, but we grow in humility when we are able to accept compliments.
Accepting compliments is something a lot of girls struggle with, I know I do, but Fulton Sheen says "The proud man counts his newspaper clippings, the humble man his blessings." It is important to recognize and be thankful for the blessings that God has created and given to us! Mary is the perfect example of this! When Elizabeth greets Mary saying "Blessed are you among women" Mary doesn't deny her, she responds with "My soul magnifies the Lord"!! If a friend compliments you, thank her! She is only recognizing the beauty that God has created!
After thinking all of this over, I got dressed, put on my foundation and mascara, and went to class. I felt good, I felt natural, I felt beautiful. My attitude changed and I was more productive that day than I would have been had I been lazy. On top of all of that, I even received a compliment from a friend on how naturally beautiful I was, not on how good my makeup looked. It was a compliment I could honestly say "praise God" to.
Now. Chick flicks.
This Lent I am also giving up sentimentally charged media. At first it didn't seem so hard, but one Sunday, to support a friend going through a rough time, we took her out to see Safe Haven, the new Nicholas Sparks movie. Let me tell you, I came home a wreck! I was so emotionally unstable and distraught after just one movie! This never used to happen to me, and the only thing I could come up with is that after watching so much sentimental media, we become numb to the effects these movies have on us. They shape our mindsets, and we are completely unaware to the garbage and lies being exposed to us.
Not that all of these movies are bad! Trust me, I am a complete sucker for chick flicks, but I think we need to be aware of how erroneously they can present love and relationships and how they can set us up to have false expectations in our own relationships. We need to be careful, know ourselves, and use prudence when viewing chick flicks.
When we expose ourselves to movies and media that are so emotionally and sentimentally charged, we begin to undermine our intellect. When God created Adam and Eve, He created them with perfect balance and integration of intellect and will, of reason and emotion. They had integrity. Humanity lost this through original sin, and we continue to lose it through our sins, through letting our emotions get the better of us and our reason.
We also lose a sense of what real romance is. Think of the ways that most relationships progress in movies. Boy meets girl. Then there's the "are we friends" dilemma, but how is it that resolved? They give in to lust and sleep with each other. Now it's time for the first date! And then it ends! There is no portrayal of continuing the relationship. Rarely is there a marriage at the end of a movie, and even if there is, there is rarely any look into the difficulties of marriage. It is idealized that every problem magically goes away. We get these ideals that we will always get the guy we like after a little struggle, and then we get together and live happily ever after and problem free.
Reality is very rarely like this. There is constant struggle, constant work. We don't always get what we want, no matter how hard we try, because we are not the writers of our own story, God is. And He knows that it is with the struggle that virtue comes.
We cannot control everything. Sometimes we don't get certain things we desire here on earth, because we need to remember to remain unattached to the world and cling to Christ, our only true love. The purpose of love and marriage on earth is to reflect Christ's love for us on a physical level. It should never be placed higher than His perfect love. Our relationship with Christ should be the most important thing to us. It is pure, it is holy, it is eternal. Love is not a short term thing.
Compare "movie love" to the way Christ pursues us. He woos us! He protects us! He dies for us! Each of us is pursued individually by Christ in a way completely unique to us. We each desire different things in being pursued, and Christ fulfills those in all of us. Most movies only show one way of pursuing. It is one couple. It shows the way one specific guy pursues one specific woman, and rarely does it vary. What does that tell us as women? We are all the same. We are all pursued the same way, and we just have to respond to those actions instead of holding out for those true desires we have. We begin to crave the romance that we see in movies. We watch these movies, and we start wanting them to sleep together, because we don't know how else to view romance, and we start wanting that for ourselves. We stop recognizing true romance. We stop seeing Christ as our lover, we stop noticing the ways our brothers serve us, and we start desiring the wrong kinds of attention.
Instead, we should focus on the unique ways that Christ pursues us individually. What ways does God show His love for you? When you begin to see the way Christ uniquely pursues you, you will begin to see how a man should pursue you, but you will also begin to stop worrying about whether a man is pursuing you, because you have the only One you need to fulfill every desire. There is no more wanting if you would only recognize Christ!
I know this is really long, but one last short video to sum up and show how we get so caught up in the world, and sometimes fail to see Christ pursuing us. If we could just detach a little bit from what the world is telling us about ourselves and about love we might just see Christ waiting to rescue us.
Praying for all of you,
Carrie
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