When No Means Yes

This week we’re focusing on the virtue of justice, and I want to bring our attention to the justice we owe to God. Just as justice requires that we give all people—teachers, strangers, friends—their due, so too does it require that we give God what He deserves. And what is this? Our undivided love and service.

On the Feast of the Annunciation, as I contemplated Mary’s Fiat, her “yes” to God, I considered how to be just, I, like Mary, must strive to always respond to the Lord and His will for me with a resounding “yes.”

But I can’t say “yes” to everything!

Yep, that was my initial thought. If I always say “yes,” I will be stretched like a twin-sized bed sheet over a queen-sized mattress, and things won’t be pretty.

Then I realized—God isn’t going to ask of me anything, or things, that He doesn’t already know I can handle. But I know I can’t do everything. Right. That’s why sometimes, I need to say “no.”

Say “no!”

Yes. If we’re asked to do something we know we can’t do, something God doesn’t want us to do, we have to say “no.” By saying “no,” we’re really saying “yes” to God. And when we say "yes" to God, we are practicing justice.

May God bless us all, as we strive to live out these virtues for the remainder of Lent and the rest of our lives.

Lenten Holy Hour TONIGHT (Wednesday, March 28th)

Hi Ladies!
Can you believe this is our last full week of Lent?! We can't! Come join FUS Women's Ministry for a Lenten Holy Hour led by Fr. Dominic Foster, TONIGHT at 9pm in CTK chapel! We will be reflecting on our Lenten journey and preparing to enter into Holy Week. Hope to see you there!
God Bless,
Megan and the FUS Women's Ministry Core Team

Just About Justice

   Justice.  When I hear this word, I automatically think of a courtroom or of rallies with flags waving.  Of all the virtues, it seemed to me the most aggressive and intimidating.
    But after praying and talking about it with some of the other FUS Women’s Ministry Core Team members, I realized how many opportunities we have here on campus to grow in this virtue without joining law school or causing a political upheaval.
    Frank Sheed describes the virtue justice as, “a burning will that others have what is due to them…Justice means a really profound concern that others should have their rights, driving us to do something about it.”#  What are these rights of which he is speaking?  Should we memorize the Bill of Rights and recite it to every person we meet?  What about in other countries?
    Beyond the basic material needs that every person requires (food, water, shelter, etc.), there is a need to love and feel loved.  I believe the heart of the virtue of justice is to acknowledge every person as a child of God and treat them as such so that they recognize it in their hearts.  By their very existence on this earth, the human race will never be the same.  Our generation is facing some of the greatest attacks on human dignity this world has seen.  The value of the human person is viewed as relative, and the imperishable beauty of the human soul is denied outright.  People are emotionally destroying each other, all for the sake of “humor” or in a quest for selfish self-esteem.  Don’t worry, the virtue of justice is here to save the day!
    So how can we practice this revolutionary virtue on campus? 
    Let’s start with how we treat others.  The ministry of presence is one that is often overlooked but one that we intuitively know.  When you’re having a conversation with someone, look them in the eye and listen.  Even if you just remembered something super cool you REALLY want to tell them, wait until they are finished.  Whether you’re standing outside or eating a meal with them, stay away from your cell phone.  Unless there is some sort of emergency, keep the phone hidden throughout your time with this person.  All these things let the person know you are genuinely interested in what they have to say and you enjoy being in their presence. 
    Do you enjoy seeing your friends?  Show the world!  When you see them approaching, throw back your head and roar to the heavens your joy at being on the same earth as them.  Jumping up and down waving your arms in glee has the same affect.  NOTE: these are just suggestions, in no way is your beauty or awesome-ness diminished if you do not do this, I understand.  Please post other suggestions in the comment section.
    I think we all can relate to that awkward moment when you’re walking around campus and you are walking past  someone you don’t know or have met but can’t remember their name so you both just look down sheepishly and hurry past. 
    My dear sisters, do not be afraid to go out into the streets and smile and wave at strangers.
    You don’t have to start a conversation, and if you do, it doesn’t have to be super intense.  You can just give them a lovely, friendly smile that says, “Hello beautiful child of the Most High God, I recognize your worth and honor you.  I hope you have a fantastic day!”  It’s easier than it might sound, and you might make a few new friends from it!  While driving or walking around town, I like to wave at people driving by (smile included).  I call it “wave ministry”.  It has the same affect as the smile, but it is a more direct, outward sign to others who might have otherwise missed the smile.  It is a beautiful opportunity to touch someone’s life for just a moment.  Perhaps they were having a terrible day, but by your small effort it is brightened.
    Getting involved with the Works of Mercy on campus is a great way to grow in the virtue of justice.  I encourage you to look into them, there are many and each is different, so there is a good chance there will be something to interest you or challenge you.
    As students, most of us will have to take classes we don’t want to take.  Sometimes teachers can get on our nerves.  But they still are due our respect, even if we don’t think they know how to teach.  That’s not the point.  The point is that they are a teacher and someone in a position of authority.  Some simple ways we can show our professors we respect them (even if we don’t particularly like them) is by showing up to class.  Yes, sometimes things happen that are out of our control and we just can’t make it to class, but oftentimes we can and should.  If the professors are taking time to be there, we should as well.  Even if the professor says they don’t care about cell phone usage, try to avoid texting or fiddling around with your phone during class.  Practicing respect for them outside of class is important too.  By this I mean not trashing them as soon as you walk out of the door to anyone who will listen.  If you’re not doing well in the class, honestly evaluate yourself and see if you are putting everything you can into it, or if you are slacking off.  This is college, the classes are going to be difficult, whether you’re a freshman or a senior or a grad student.  Before you start gossiping or ranting, think it through and give yourself time to cool down. 
    Let’s talk about practicing justice with yourself.  I don’t think we will ever truly comprehend how special we are.  Not in a narcissistic way, but in an oh-my-goodness-the-unique-beauty-of-me-is-so-fantastically-made!!!  This is why comparing yourself with others is so silly, yet so easy to fall in to.  We all do it, but that still doesn’t mean it’s just.  By trying to conform yourself into the shape of someone else, either physically or emotionally, you are denying the world the unique beauty and gift of yourself.  In all honesty, this can be viewed as a crime against humanity.  Who are you to deprive the world of this unrepeatable light?  To be anyone else other than yourself is just selfish.  It is not only your right to be who you were created to be, it is also the world’s right to experience and be formed by the person God is calling you to be.
    Part of practicing justice with yourself is balance.  Setting your priorities and scheduling accordingly is important.  Sometimes we want to do everything and over commit ourselves but rationalize it with a tired “it’s ok”.  No it’s not.  You have a right to sleep and a right to say no without feeling selfish.  If you’re so busy that you don’t have time to take care of yourself physically and spiritually, you’re not being fair to yourself or anyone else. 
    And so my dear sisters, go out and be incredible (which means be yourself) and let others know they are a unique and precious gift to the world and that no one can replace them.  Let us all grow in the virtue of justice this week and the weeks to come- the world desperately needs us.

Your sister in Christ,
Jenny

Jesus, Strength of Martyrs...

In the Litany of the Holy Name of Jesus, we pray: “Jesus, strength of Martyrs, have mercy on us.” I was thinking about how all people are called to be martyrs, to be witnesses, and maybe not by physical death, but by death to ourselves. Each and every one of us is called to lay down our lives for those around us.

What does this have to do with fortitude? Marta talked about how being lukewarm is the opposite of practicing fortitude and I was thinking about how easy it is to be lukewarm (at least for me!) in laying down my life for others. So, I thought about some practical ways to lay down my life.

1. I have a paper to write, but once I log onto my computer I go straight to Facebook. To practice fortitude in not giving in to lukewarmness, why don’t we stay off Facebook until the paper is written?

2. I served two bowls of ice-cream, one for my friend and one for me. One happens to be larger than the other, and I want the larger option. But, to lay down my life, I give my friend the bowl with more ice-cream.

3. My friend wants to watch NCIS; I want to watch Tangled. Rather than telling my friend my option, I agree to watch NCIS with her.

4. I know we’re supposed to give to the poor, so I tithe ten percent of my income to the local charity. Why don’t I actually go to a soup kitchen and serve the poor, and practice the ministry of presence?

These are just a couple ways we can practice laying down our lives for one another. If we can practice fortitude in these small matters, we can practice it in large matters. Fortitude is a virtue, so it is a habit, so it is something that is easier to do the more we do it. I encourage you to practice fortitude now; overcome your lukewarnmness, lay down your life in the little ways.

If you are tempted not to lay down your life (which I know I am), here are two suggestions that help me. First of all, follow the advice of Matthew Kelly: don’t base your actions off how you feel before, base them off how you’ll feel after. For example, you may not feel like giving your pink pen to a stranger in need, but think about after you give her the pen, you’ll feel good about helping. And second, remember that fortitude is the Gift of the Holy Spirit; when you’re tempted to lukewarnmness, ask the Holy Spirit for help, and He will come to your aid. Jesus, strength of martyrs…have mercy on us!

Virtue of the Week: Fortitude

Fortitude: the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions.  (CCC 1808)

We seem to have made quite a jump this week! Two weeks ago, we learned about temperance, and we learned that this virtue requires us to take an inward look and examine our own lives so that we may mortify those attachments or sins that prevent us from giving ourselves totally to God and to others. I encourage you, then, not to fall into the thinking that temperance is easy because it only requires us to worry only about ourselves. We practice temperance, ultimately, not primarily for ourselves, but for the other.

How, then, do we make the connection between temperance and fortitude? If the possession of every virtue is necessary for the practice of another, I think we can safely say that we need temperance to practice fortitude. The practice of temperance should ultimately endow us with a clear vision in which we see all things the way God sees them, even ourselves. When we see things in the light of truth and goodness, then, we should desire nothing else but to remain firm in the greatest difficulties and temptations. We should desire to practice fortitude.

How can we fail in fortitude? Or maybe a better way to ask the question is what is the negative spiritual quality that reveals to us our need to practice fortitude? I think we can fail in being spiritually lukewarm. When be become lukewarm, we indicate by our actions that we care very little for something. In our lukewarmness we are satisfied with doing the least possible. We do not dare, risk, surrender, persevere, or endeavor. This is not only because we do not care, but because we hold ourselves as the most important. We do not wish to inconvenience ourselves for God or for others because we fear rejection, injury, humiliation, or mortification.

Knowing this, we can examine the attitudes we may have towards many things in our lives. We should look at our time spent in prayer, our relationships, our study habits, even our hobbies. Are there aspects of our lives in which we do not give all we can? Are there areas in which we give more than we should because it is easy? While I do not think that the amount of time we spend in an activity is always an indicator of how much we care, I think that it can tell us at least when we care too little. If we do everything with love, then our gift will always be a total gift, and our time will never be wasted. We will not consider the cost of our effort because we will think of nothing else but the value of the other or the importance of what we do.

God bless you, ladies!
Marta

Examine Your Fasting!

Dear Ladies,

  As Megan already pointed out, temperance is a special virtue. Unlike other virtues, it primarily focuses on self-examination. In the practice of temperance, we look inward so that we can identify areas in our lives in which we rely on material goods or people instead of God. The ultimate goal of temperance, however, is not simply to mortify our earthly attachments, but to make ourselves more disposed to love and serve God. Remember that fasting itself can also become an idly if it is not done with the proper disposition or attitude.

  Megan and Jenny have already said so much on the subject, so I'm going to encourage you all to examine, in particular, your fasting practices. You should always reflect on your fasting experiences before the Lord, and you should not seek to bar him from your soul until you have worked out all your issues. That is not what temperance is about. Invite Him in to your fasting and allow Him to bless and fortify you through whatever you may choose to do.

   In examining your fasting in prayer, you should consider asking yourselves these questions:
- What has been my attitude toward fasting before and during the fast?
- Have I been idly talking about my fasting practices with others?
- Have I allowed my fasting practices to negatively impact in any way my relationship with God and with others?
- Why did I choose to fast in the particular way I have? Is it effective? Am I being too harsh or too lax with myself?
- Am I making my fast a constant prayer? Or am I simply treating it as a necessary but mindless ritual? Is it changing me?
- Did I seek any kind of advice (ex., priest, spiritual director) before I chose my method of fasting?

I hope you are having a blessed Lent, and may Christ bless you and keep you as you persevere! Remember that it's all for Him!
-Marta

Temperance and Mother Teresa

 
  “You guys…..I just want to be like Mother Teresa.  SHE’S SO COOL!!!  AHHHH!!!” 
My friends have heard me say this too many times.
    But this post is not about me raving about how cool Mother Teresa is (that could go on forever, believe me).  This is about temperance.
    There are multiple areas in our life to which we can apply temperance, (check out Megan’s post for more details!) but I am going to focus on time management and the importance of prayer with work, and how we can apply it to our lives here.  One story from Mother Teresa’s life I want to share with you is how temperance changed her mission and so changed the world.
    Mother Teresa was focused her whole life, this was not a characteristic she picked up in old age.  Mind you, this stubbornness was not a disobedience, it was more like when she knew something needed to be done, she got it done and few things could/would stand in her way.  When she was in her twenties and thirties- a young nun of the Sisters of Loreto- Mother Teresa worked at a furious pace.  She was teaching, visiting the sick, running schools, and attending to the poor.  Not surprisingly, she ran herself down and her health suffered.  Her superiors ordered her to spend at least three hours of every day resting in bed, but that did not seem to work.  Mother Teresa was then ordered to go on an extended retreat in Darjeeling.  It was on this quiet journey that she heard Jesus’ call for her to found the Missionaries of Charity.  Through silent prayer and reflection, she was able to better discern this call, and her heart was set aflame.  The world would never be the same again.
    Just think if temperance, balancing work with prayer, had not been a part of  Mother Teresa’s life, she might not have heard His call to be a Missionary of Charity.  In all the crazy busyness of her life, while she was doing things that were certainly good, she knew to take time away from the work she so desired to complete in order to pray.  As the Missionaries of Charity began to develop, Mother Teresa made sure that the structure of the day was set up to include work, rest, and most importantly, prayer.  The schedule stressed the importance of budgeting time so that they may take care of themselves to take care of others, both physically and spiritually. 
    It is so tempting (especially on this campus) to over-commit ourselves to different ministries or activities.  We tend to justify it by telling ourselves, “Yeah I’m really busy, BUT I’m doing  God’s work so it’s fine, the saints did all this stuff and I have to keep up”.  Well, while those ministries are certainly great, our primary vocation at this moment is to be a student.  Remember, Mother Teresa had given up her WHOLE life for this mission, so really it was not too crazy for her to be doing all the things she was doing with the Missionaries of Charity.  That was just her calling.  Just as God called Mother Teresa to be a Missionary of Charity, He is calling us to be a student, the best we can be.  Sometimes this means not being an active part of a ministry or giving up going on a bunch of mission trips.  It means not measuring our holiness by the busyness of our schedules or having a silent competition to see who can run the most ministries.  By being the student you are currently being called to be, it doesn’t mean you do not love God, and it doesn’t mean you are lazy.      
    During this special time when we are students, preparing to go out into the world to turn it upside down with our wisdom, it is important to take time for prayer and discernment and just BE with God.  There is certainly a time to glorify Him with your service, but you also glorify Him by standing still and listening to Him and basking in His smile.  Through this time with Him, He may call you to be a Missionary of Charity, or He may call you to a different vocation.  If you don’t take time to listen to Him, you won’t know how He wants you to live out the time you have left.  
    So instead of thinking, “I want to be like Mother Teresa- I want to serve EVERYBODY IN PERSON and save the world!!!  BREAK OUT THE COFFEE!!!”, I encourage you to think, “I want to be like Mother Teresa- I’m going to go study for my Philosophy test and then I’m going to take a short nap because I didn’t get much sleep last night, and then I’m going to meditate in the chapel for a half hour.  BRING ON THE DAY!!!”

I will leave you with this inscription on a sign on the wall of a children’s home of the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta that reads:
Take time to think
Take time to pray
Take time to laugh

It is the source of power
It is the greatest power on Earth
It is the music of the soul

Take time to play
Take time to love and be loved
Take time to give

It is the secret to perpetual youth
It is God’s given privilege
It is too short a day to be selfish

Take time to read
Take time to be friendly
Take time to work

It is the fountain of wisdom
It is the road to happiness
It is the price of success

Take time to do charity
It is the key to heaven.  

Your sister in Christ,
Jenny

Temperance a “Special Virtue”

Temperance: the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods; it ensures the will's mastery and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable. (CCC 1809)

St. Thomas Aquinas called Temperance a “special virtue,” because the practice of moderation is necessary for properly living out all of the other virtues. Temperance is necessary for keeping our concupiscence in check and “controls the yearning for pleasures and delights which most powerfully attract the human heart.”(Newadvent.com) We are naturally attracted to pleasures and delights, these are different for everyone, but with Temperance we can act with reason over our passions.

The Lenten practice that comes to mind when I think about Temperance is fasting. Fasting is a great way to practice Temperance, but only if we keep in mind that Temperance involves moderation. It is easy to go overboard when fasting; we can get over-zealous and fast to an extent that is not prudent and moderate, or we can fast for the wrong reasons.

Fasting should always be done in conjunction with prayer. I recently heard the connection between prayer and fasting explained in this way: fasting detaches us from worldly things and prayer attaches us to God. If I am fasting from sugar in my tea (putting a ton of sugar in my tea is one of my weaknesses) it is not enough to drink my tea plain, I should also offer a prayer with every cup of un-sugared tea that I become less attached to worldly goods and more attached to God. Also, if I decide to fast primarily because I want to loose weight, my intentions are not right, and the fast won’t really be fruitful. The intention of fasting should always be to learn moderation and self-denial, in order that we may grow closer to God.

Something else I recently learned about Fasting is also really important to note. I heard it recommended by a priest that those who have struggled with eating disorders should try fasting from things other than food. The suffering that is connected with an eating disorder is a great sacrifice in itself and fasting from things other than food can be a way of practicing Temperance while continuing the healing process and not presenting a situation in which a relapse can occur. A priest or spiritual director can be a great help for us in choosing Lenten practices that stay within the bounds of moderation.

Here are some other practical ideas for practicing Temperance this week:

-Don't waste time. Give yourself a time limit for being online or watching T.V.
-Avoid "I know I'm going to regret this later" kinds of situations (food, alcohol, hanging out instead of studying, etc.)
-Try making a schedule this week: make sure everything is given the appropriate amount of time (prayer, study, sleep, meals, exercise, relaxation etc.)
-Avoid the temptation to be a perfectionist. Pray that you do only what God wants you to do, no more and no less.

Living Out Prudence, Every Day

Hi Ladies!
Week 1 of the Lenten Virtue Challenge is drawing to a close. Did you try growing in Prudence this week? What practical exercises did you use? How did it go? Of course, virtues are habits, and habits take a while to build, but we would love to hear about your initial experience with Prudence! You can comment on this blog post, or on our facebook page.

Also, I wanted to share 3 practical steps for acting prudently that I found on this website.
The three stages of a prudent act are:
1."to take counsel carefully with oneself and from others"
2. to judge correctly on the basis of the evidence at hand"
3. "to direct the rest of one's activity according to the norms determined after a prudent judgment has been made."

I love how apparent it is from these steps that the use of reason is connected with acting virtuously.

So, let's hear about Week 1....

-Megan