Feminine Strength of Character: What The Media Thinks That Means and Why That's Not The Case

Dear sisters,

My blog post from last week really got me thinking about movies and their ability to convey truth (if you missed last week’s post you can read it here).

And because I really like movies, I thought I’d write another blog post about them, especially some movies that have come out in the past several years that had a female protagonist.

There is a trend to make movies with “strong female characters” especially ones that young girls will likely go see. Look no farther than some of the mainstream movies Disney has put out in the past few years that have a female protagonist. Whether it’s Brave, Frozen, Alice in Wonderland, or Maleficent, Disney is working really hard to prove to the world that they think women can do more than just sit around and wait to be saved by a man.

And I don’t really have a problem with females that possess strength of character being portrayed in movies. I think film needs these women and I think women need to see these roles portrayed in film.

Not Kristoff's finest moment

I take issue though, not when strong women are presented, but when they are presented without strong men to accompany them. The male characters in these movies are usually little more than caricatured stereotypes. You have the ridiculous father (King Fergus, Brave), the guy that’s using you (Prince Hans, Frozen), the guy that already used you and then left you (King Stefan, Maleficent), the anti-social loner with no real friends (Kristoff, Frozen), the empty-headed pretty boy (Prince Phillip, Maleficent), and the crazy guy who is probably on drugs (Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland). And I haven’t even mentioned Merida’s suitors from Brave (no wonder she doesn’t want to marry them!)

Meanwhile, what are the women in these movies doing? Rejecting marriage proposals, exercising their supernatural powers, leading armies, ruling kingdoms, shooting arrows, and all-around kicking the intellectual butts of the men in the movie with them.

Like I said, I don’t really take issue with women doing these sorts of things. After all, these are actions taken by some of the women in films that I really LOVE. Think about it: Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) rejected Mr. Collins’ marriage proposal, Galadriel (The Lord of the Rings) is influential in the struggle against evil, Joan of Arc (Joan of Arc) led the French army to victory in battle, Queen Victoria (The Young Victoria) ascended the throne as a teenager, Susan (The Chronicles of Narnia) is a pretty straight shooter, and Hermione Granger (Harry Potter) is just plain awesome.

But again I ask, what were the men in the previously mentioned movies like Brave, Frozen, Maleficent, and Alice in Wonderland doing? Mimicking the voice of a teenage girl, picking their noses, using women to ruthlessly pursue power, and having tea parties.

Great. Glad to see the “equality of the sexes” really being portrayed there.

I guess the thing that bothers me most about the way these movies are set up is that they seem to imply that women can only possess a good, strong character when the men around them are petty, backstabbing, stupid, or weak.

In other words, these movies are sending the message that girls can only be strong if men are “torn down”. It fundamentally puts women in competition with men but beyond that seems to imply that in a direct competition with men, women would lose every time.

But ladies, here’s the truth of the matter: When men are men it doesn’t threaten you because you're not a man. You're a woman.

Men are not our competition; they are our complement.

I love movies where the men and women are equally strong, intelligent, and flawed because sometimes women need men to straighten them out and sometimes men need women to do the same for them. God made us so that our weaknesses are men’s strengths and their weaknesses are our strengths. We’re a team that is interdependent.

So it’s really beautiful when you see movies where the male and female characters are each treated with the same amount of dignity and development. The radiance of the female characters seems to shine even brighter when they are around equally brilliant male characters and vice versa.

Because here’s the thing: when we are truly confident in our femininity we won’t be threatened by men’s masculinity. I don’t feel threatened as a woman when I see men in movies rushing into battle or playing to win that championship game. A man of strong character doesn’t stand in the way of me being a woman of strong character. In fact, a man of strong character inspires me to improve my own character. After all, we are here to help get each other to Heaven!

So if you ever want to be a better woman of God, go read the life of a male saint. I read a biography of St. Isaac Jogues this semester for a class and I’m convinced he is one of the most masculine men to ever walk the face of this earth (and keep in mind this is a celibate Jesuit priest we’re talking about!) As one of the North American martyrs he willingly assented to months of torture and slavery for the opportunity to evangelize the native people and potentially save their souls. Even after he escaped from this situation he went back out of love for his God and these people.

There is something so attractively masculine about men like St. Isaac Jogues that have the holiness and courage to stand up and be true men despite the prevailing message of the culture. And it’s their authentic masculinity that really calls me on to live a life of more authentic femininity.

So I’m not ashamed to admit that the movies most likely to make me cry are ones like “Rudy,” “Braveheart,” “Gladiator,” “The Lord of the Rings,” “Saving Private Ryan,” “Remember the Titans,” etc.

In many ways these movies portray an authentic masculinity that is in the heart of every man and which has the ability to move the heart of every woman. Why? Because we need authentic men in our lives.

We need authentic men that are courageous enough to pursue the vocation the Lord is calling them to. Not only do we need men to step up and accept the call to be our husbands, we also need men to step up and accept the call to be our priests. As women we cannot provide ourselves with the sacraments; it is something that we are entirely reliant upon men for. In this sense, there’s no such thing as a truly “independent” woman.

Recently the Lord has impressed upon me the importance of praying specifically for the men in my life. It’s easy to take their presence for granted but in reality so much of who we are depends on them and their authentic living out of God’s call.

My request for each of you this week is to pray every day for the men in your life: your brothers, your father, your professors, your priests, and your male friends. If you say a Rosary for your future spouse, offer it also for the men discerning or in formation now that will someday be your priests. Pray for the discernment of the men on campus. Pray for their purity, courage, and strength. Offer up your struggles for them and then watch how praying for them brings you into a deeper understanding of your own femininity.

Ladies, there are women in movies who fight battles with magical powers, bows and arrows, and sharp tongues. But there are also women in real life who fight battles with prayer.

The question you need to ask yourself is which war you want to wage: the one where fighting ends lives or the one that gives lives a fighting chance.

In the Fire of His Love,

Alyssa

Instaurare Omnia in Christo

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Alyssa is a sophomore studying Humanities and Catholic Culture, Theology, and Philosophy. She is a native of Texas where she lives with her family in a blue-roofed house on top of a hill. She is passionate about the Truth of the Lord's Incarnation and loves spending time discovering and discussing ways in which others have incarnated the Gospel in film, history, literature, politics, and art. Her favorite saints are St. Teresa of Avila and St. Catherine of Siena because they both personify St. John Paul II's "feminine genius" in her mind.