No Mirrors: Beauty in the Breakdown

This is long overdue, but here it goes.

The goal was 40 days without looking in the mirror. Wrong from the get-go. The goal must always be Christ. My heart must always be yearning and aching for my Savior. Everything I do must be in regards to attaining closer intimacy with my God. The moment of discouragement is the moment I take my eyes away from the great Light. The more I become aware of my miserable state, the more I must HOPE and never despair. The more of our weakness we accept and bring to Christ, the more we relieve His aching heart.

Heading into Holy Week I am trying to enter into the Passion and discover all that the Lord did for me. He endured so much for my weaknesses and sins and selfishness and hardness of heart. If I never bring these things to Him and allow Him to make me new and spotless, then what was the point of His agony and crucifixion? I do not need to be perfect to go to God, in fact, He receives greater joy and consolation when I go to Him broken and trampled because this shows I have faith in Him. Jesus suffered such agony because He has so much love for us that we reject. He is being burned by the flames of His mercy that we reject! When we crawl to the cross and receive His love and mercy, we relieve his aching heart and bring Him so much joy.

When I had an entire week this Lent in which the only time I kept from looking in the mirror was when I brushed my teeth, I felt undeserving to go before Christ and act as if I had just spent 40 days in the desert with Him. Reflecting on His Passion I thought initially that I was not welcomed to kneel before the cross. In reality, Jesus is filled with such compassion when I go to Him weak, undisciplined, lacking, and empty, because at last, His little flower is trusting in Him to water her.

 

 

Although this Lent was a challenge, I believe I have grown tremendously in my understanding of who I am before Christ. I am His little flower, planted beside the cross, with no where to go except deeper and higher. I will stay at the foot of the cross for it is here that His mercy and life is poured out onto me.

Regina Angelorum, Ora Pro Nobis <3
Cayce