Classy Modest

After enjoying a delicious shrimp dinner from King's Fish House, I was quite content with my first evening back in California.  Unfortunately that was quickly disturbed when a woman, who was rather tall, walked by me pushing a stroller wearing a black tank top and black booty shorts that generously exposed the bottom of her butt every time she stepped forward.  While this woman was in excellent shape, this should still be considered completely inappropriate attire to wear at any time outside of pajamas.  With that, I have decided to make this blog not only my journey toward an inner peace and beauty, but also an outward one.  I hate the phrase "Modest is hottest" because in my personal opinion.....it isn't.  Modesty makes people think of being prudish, wearing turtlenecks and jean skirts down to the floor.  This is not my definition of modesty. 

Sexy is defined as being concerned predominantly or excessively with sex.  It is synonyms with provocative and suggestive, and the word originally means "engrossed in sex."  Being dressed "sexy" will give most women the attention from men they seek, thinking this attention will fill the void they feel in their heart.  I see the appeal...what woman doesn't want to feel attractive and desired?  Our heart is satisfied with love, not with sex but we seem to think dressing ourselves "engrossed in sex" is going to give us love.  It doesn't make sense.  Modesty on the other hand is defined as: being FREE from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions; Having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress.  I have read through those definitions multiple times and there is nothing in there about being prudish.  What I read is something along the lines of being classy (defined as elegant and stylish).  No, modesty is not sexy, but if any man is asked to describe me, do I want him to say elegant or suggestive?  I want to be respectable and classy.

I love fashion, I love being a woman, and this is how I respect my body and my femininity.  I strive to be classy modest -- elegant and stylish while being free of vanity and exercising decency in behavior, speech, and dress.

Respect your body.  Respect your dignity.  Be a woman of grace, poise, and elegance.

-Cayce

He's Just That Into You

You deserved to be pursued. Yes, you, the foxy lady reading this blog. You’re smart, gorgeous, and amazing. Men should be chasing you down every single day. But chances are… they aren’t. And I want to tell you that’s ok – because it is. But that’s hard to hear. And I’ve found that this is a growing concern I among my female friends – that men aren’t chasing them, and they don’t think this is ok. They want the whole princess fairytale ending thing, and if it doesn’t come to them, they’re going to go out and get it themselves.

Because if men aren’t going to take matters into their own hands we women should.

False.

Ladies, we are absolutely not supposed to chase men down. They pursue us. It’s in their very nature. Men are hunters. Kings of pursuit! They like to chase things. They get some sort of weird satisfaction from it. And once they’ve got what they’ve been chasing, they are very happy. Because they love to win. I bet it’s because winning usually results in super amazing prizes. And you, my dear, are one amazing prize.

One of my favorite quotes about men and the nature of pursuit is

from the book He’s Just Not That Into You. It says this:

“Many women have said to me, ‘Greg, men run the world.’ Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we’re ‘too shy’ or we ‘just got out of something.’ Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you.”

That seems pretty straightforward. I rest my case. You deserve to be pursued. Let the man pursue.

Now, while you’re hanging out being all awesome and cute and stuff, waiting around for that guy to come after you, I’d like to point out something else super important: you are already being pursued. Right now.

(No way?!)

Yeah. Check it out, Church Doctrine says: “The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself” (Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 27).

Did you catch that? I’m not sure if you really caught it. It was a pretty short quote. Let’s take a look at it again, a little closer this time: “God never ceases to draw man to himself.”

NEVER.

As in always.

As in non-stop.

As in dictionary.com’s definition: 1) not ever; at no time 2) not at all; absolutely not 3) to no extent or degree

To no extent or degree does God stop pursuing you!

And hey, let’s keep reading, because guess what? It gets better! CCC 27 goes on to say “Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.”

Now wait a second. We need to pause here for just a minute, because I totally know what you are thinking. Your mind has been blown by the very definition of the word “never,” and you are pretty excited about that. But you might still be thinking something like, “you know Ash, I know God loves me and wants to be in a relationship with me. I got that covered. But I still think that if I just had the love of a man, I would be happy.” (don’t feel bad if you have these thoughts. I am guilty of having had them before too. Stay tuned!)

Oh hey 1 John 4:8, I think I almost missed you sitting there in the Bible being all awesome and one-liney and stuff. What’s that you say? “God is love?” Wait. God is, by biblical definition, love? And hang on, what’s that one super famous Bible verse… something about love… oh, yeah, 1 Corinthians 13? It goes on and on about love and all its qualities? Well, as Professor Rice once said to my class, “Why would you ever paraphrase Scripture? Who can say it better than God?” So without further ado:

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Ok. Now let’s process all of this. Here, I’ll even help break it down:

We want to be pursued? Check. God never ceases to do so.

We want to find love? Perfect, beautiful, blissful love, with a wonderful man who will do anything for us and we can live happily ever after with? Check, check, check. God is love. And he’s seeking us, right? And we have a definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13 that sounds pretty perfect to me… so therefore, one could draw the conclusion that (drum roll please) perfect, beautiful Love is seeking us out! Love from a wonderful man whose very essence is love! And guess what else? He is willing to do anything for us (even die!) so that we can spend eternity with him and live happily ever after in the heavenly kingdom of God!

P.S. You know who has kingdoms? Kings. And what exactly are the daughters of kings called? Oh yeah, princesses. So God has this kingdom… and he wants you there forever… his daughter whom he loves…because that would bring both you and him joy for all eternity. Check out Romans 8:15-17: “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry ‘Abba! Father!’ it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” (spoiler alert: as a child of the Most High King… you’re a princess)

And hey, if love is calling on us, we should probably answer. We don’t just let our pals call us all the time and ignore them, right? We probably generally respond with something like “sure, I’ll hang out with you,” and from there we begin to develop a deeper relationship by spending time together doing friendly bonding activities. It works the same with the Lord; we’ve got to respond. And remember back in CCC 27 where it said that “only in God will he find truth and happiness”? Well CCC 30 says this too: “Although man can forget God or reject him, He never ceases to call every man to seek him, so as to find life and happiness.” Whoa. Even if we forget God, he still calls us to him because he still wants us to find happiness. I started thinking about that one. If someone forgets me, do I still call them unceasingly? I don’t know about you, but I all too often find myself thinking thoughts like a thinking thing that sound something like this: “Well, I’ve already invited this person out three times, and they declined every time, so they must not want to hang out; I’m done inviting.” God never does that. He never stops inviting us to love him back, and he never stops loving us. Holymoly. I don’t know about you, but I am a total slacker when it comes to loving.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: we all want the fairytale ending. We all want to be princesses who meet our handsome prince. He comes and sweeps us off our feet and takes us off into the sunset where we live happily ever after, and we just sit there looking pretty the whole time. Well, ladies, we have that! If we but let the Lord into our hearts we can have it right this very second! (Just don’t forget that God will never force you to love him; if you want this great gift, you have to say “yes” to the prince!)

I’d like to show you one last cool thing. Check this out:

What are the elements to a fairytale ending?

1)       Royalty – done. God is king. Jesus is Prince of Peace. Lord of Lords. Duke of Heaven (I made that last one up. Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

2)       A kingdom to ride off to at the end of the day – done. The kingdom of heaven, where happiness abides for all eternity. BOOM.

3)       A prince who seeks us out, no matter the cost – done. God wouldn’t care if he had to try shoes on every woman in the world. If it meant he could have you, he’d do it. Oh wait, you fell into a coma and everyone considers you dead? God can raise people from the death of sin to the life of grace! You’re trapped in a tower with your evil stepmother? God will take you from the clutches of evil every single time if you let him! You’re anatomically disadvantaged like Ariel? God can heal you and return you to your proper state of being! He has that power! Don’t sweep it under the rug Cinderella! (I don’t know about you, but I think I’m swooning over here …ijgarihgerhioarekjsjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj Oh, sorry! Swooned right onto my keyboard. Moving on…)

4)       A prince who will never leave us – done. Must I define the word “never” again?

5)       A damsel in distress – done. Hello every girl in the world.

6)       A fiat – can be done. You just need to say yes.

7)       A happy ending – done. See above.

Did you see how God did that? Oh hey, God, you’re a super genius.

There’s only one problem left to resolve: we can’t fall in love with someone if we don’t allow ourselves to actually fall. Let Jesus sweep you off your feet. Let him lead you to your happily ever after in eternity. Let him show you what true, authentic, perfect love is. Let him pursue you, and you will find the fairytale ending you’ve been searching for.

Your swooning, fellow fairytale princess,

Ashley

I Am Not a Fruit

Hello dear readers!
We hope you enjoyed our team introduction blog! I definitely had fun compiling it :) This Monday, our lovely team member Bernadette has some words of wisdom to share at her own blog, I Will Not Be Silent. Check it out and let us know what you think!


http://iwillnotbesilent19.blogspot.com/2012/06/i-am-not-fruit.html


And happy belated feast day of St. Padre Pio!

In Him,
Clarissa

To Wear or Not To Wear? (Part I)

This question (controversy) concerning the use of chapel veils—to wear, or not to wear—has been a constant interior battle since I arrived at Franciscan University in the fall of 2011. This lead me to intermittently researching the practice throughout the next year, and this is where my amateur studies have taken me:
    First of all, where did the custom of wearing a chapel veil come from and why is it so controversial today? What are the objections and defenses of continuing such a custom?

    The tradition of the veil can be traced all the way back to Sacred Scripture itself. Any search regarding chapel veils is going to lead you to the writings of St. Paul, specifically 1 Corinthians 11:3-16. This passage speaks of the necessity of women to recognize their God-given place in the hierarchy of being. Namely, that they are to be subject to men as a reflection of the Incarnation, God made man. In response, men are to act as nobly as Jesus Christ did, showing women the same dignity, respect, and honor that Christ shows to the Church. This may harken the reader back to many other biblical passages that reflect similar sentiments (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22, and 1 Peter 3:1). When reflecting on these passages, one must keep a few things in mind. First, these passages are from Sacred Scripture, meaning they are divinely inspired by the Author and Creator of life, the Lord and thus carry the authority worthy of man's conformity to them. Second, these passages must be understood in their proper context and with the intention of the author in mind. And thirdly, do not let the modern secular culture (especially in this case the modern feminist fronts) convolute your perception of what these words command of both women and men. Men are called to imitate Christ, even unto death. Women are called to acknowledge this role and respond as Our Blessed Mother and the Church does to Christ's reign: with beautiful and dignified humility and reciprocity. In no way is this a denigration of women. After all, the most perfect and holy creature ever to exist was a woman: The woman (Mary).
    The practice of wearing the veil was required of all women according to the 1917 Code of Canon Law. It has since become voluntary and has thus decreased in practice, especially in the western world. This is clearly due to modern conventions (including the threat of modern secular feminism) and an evolving opinion that the practice is “ancient” and “out of touch with culture.”. And indeed, there's plenty of reasons to believe why—many things have changed in American culture within the last century. Regardless of these, we must ask ourselves as Catholics, what should influence the other, the culture or the Church? Throughout the many centuries since its institution by Christ, the Church has acted as a catalyst, bringing stunning art, architecture, and literature to the world as well as upholding the dignity and sanctity of every human life by expressing Moral Law. Why then should an age-old tradition of the Church be discontinued and forgotten by the faithful simply because it doesn't fit in with the newest fashion statements (and let us not even bring up the issue of immodesty)? In a post-Christian age where modern governments are attempting to push the Church and morality out of every aspect of life, should not Catholic women of this society stand with as much opposition as possible, representing rational and revealed Truths by the conviction to, “stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught” (2 Thessalonians 3:15)?

    I ask that you, the holy women of Franciscan University, to take this to heart and discuss it with the Lord in prayer. In my next post I will discuss how, after months of research and interior debating, the Blessed Mother finally convinced me to take up the veil for the greater honor and glory of her Son.

    And for more information or to buy a veil, feel free to visit the following link:
http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/2008/01/chapel-veils.html


In Him,
Stephanie Alicia

Meet the team!

This blog is to officially introduce you to the FUS Women's Ministry team for the 2012-2013 school year!! We are here for you, so when you see us around, feel free to say hello and get to know us! And never be afraid to give us suggestions on events you'd like to see around campus!

Back row (from left to right): Sr. Elizabeth Beussink, TOR, Marianne Deramo, Bernadette Scott, Clarissa Quiring, and Cayce Smits.

Front row (also left to right): Colleen Murphy, Stephanie Culy, Ashley Ackerman, and Olivia Cundiff.

Some fun facts about your WM team:

Bernadette Scott is a Communication Arts (Multimedia) major with a double minor in English And Theology. She is a sophomore by year, and a junior by credit. She enjoys bargaining, and through this has gotten a raise and a discount on a cell phone case! And that is only the beginning! Favorite quote: "Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." -Blessed Mother Teresa

Cayce Smits is a senior Sacred Music major, with an emphasis in Voice. In her spare time she can be found successfully running all the way up the steep hill from University Blvd. to the Heights!

Ashley Ackerman is a 2nd year grad student studying for her MA in Theology, and she's a Yooper!

Colleen Murphy is a sophomore Psychology and Theology major who loves dark chocolate, love stories, and oversized sweaters....but then again doesn't every girl??

Sr. Elizabeth is the Pastoral Associate for the Office of Evangelization as Head of Women's Ministry and was once the director of a Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre. Yes, you read that correctly.

Clarissa Quiring is a senior Theology major minoring in Biology. She enjoys nail painting, spelling, swimming with sharks, and Marcel the Shell with shoes on. She once walked all over Paris carrying a violin on her back in order to get a picture playing the violin in front of the Eiffel Tower. This may or may not have been by parental coercion.

Olivia Cundiff is a sophomore Business Marketing and Business Management major. When she was younger, instead of wanting to be a firefighter or the president, she told her parents she wanted to be a water slide instructor. She wanted to help society by teaching kids to successfully go down the water slide.

Stephanie Alicia Culy is a senior Theology and Multimedia major. Her favorite Disneyland ride is the Matterhorn.

Marianne Deramo is a grad Theology student. She likes cheesy romantic comedies, amusement parks, making wedding story books, and adventures! Once, she parachuted off a mountain in Austria and loved it!  

On behalf on the whole team, we hope you enjoyed a little peek into our lives, and stay tuned to read more blog posts from each one of us!

A Pierced Heart is Always Open

Recently, I have learned that it is so much easier to feel anger than to feel hurt. And that when we are truly hurt, that is what we do… we turn it into anger. Anger towards the person, anger towards the situation, anger towards ourselves.

But I do not want to be angry, not for the hurt I am experiencing now, nor for the hurt I have felt in the past.  I look at my life right now and I am beginning to learn how deep my woundedness really is. I see how high the walls are that I have built up around my heart in an attempt to protect myself; walls that I built out of the pain and the fear of being rejected. Walls that I built out of lies. Walls that I built with anger. But I don’t want to do that anymore.

So instead, I have decided to just let myself hurt. To not be angry or bitter towards what has happened, but to just feel hurt. And you know what… it hurts! But it is real, and in a funny way there is a deep peace in it. A peace that comes in recognizing and accepting truth. But it is very hard, because I want to give into those satisfying feelings of resentment. I want to go back to building up those walls to protect myself.  I don’t want to feel so vulnerable, so exposed.  

Yet in it I have realized something so important…that a pierced heart is always open. That we have a choice to turn our hurt into something beautiful. That when we allow ourselves to be broken, we allow love to pour out. Love that heals not only ourselves but those around us.  And if we let Him, the Lord will cradle our broken hearts next to His, and we will bleed the same.


Cheers to the brokenhearted.
-Colleen

The Sinister Side of Love Stories

Hi Ladies!
   Check out this great blog post by Makena Clawson, a sophmore at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas. Makena has a witty way of bringing out great points about how we can tend to let our emotions overrule our reason when it comes to romance.  Here is a little teaser to whet your appetite...

I blame Ariel. She was always my favorite Disney princess, and now that I'm starting to search for a potential spouse, the standard they need to measure up against is Prince Eric.

Fabulous.

It's hard enough to find a guy with luscious, raven-black hair, to say nothing of a muscular build, sparkling laugh, nautical sensibilities and pipe-playing skills.

From a young age, women in our American culture are advertised into believing that we are princesses, that we deserve perfection when it comes to our prince, and that we will eventually settle down in a little romantic cottage or a glorious castle with little singing animals to help us tend to our chores.

But it gets better – after the princess stage we get corralled into reading preteen magazines and drooling over the heart-throb celebs whose life-size posters hung in our (okay, maybe just my) closet. For some reason a teenage girl has the power to hold out hope against all the odds that the movie star of her dreams would choose her over anyone else. I’ll admit I had my fair share of Zac Efron dreams (insert Luke Perry, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, or Justin Timberlake depending on your age).

Oh, but the saga continues. We get swept from preteen to “Seventeen,” and then on to romantic comedies and chick-lit in our high school and college days. So where does this leave grown women? For some, the obvious progression is shows like Desperate Housewives and its ilk, trashy romance novels and the new pornographic, best-selling “50 Shades of Gray” book series.

Why does pop-culture steer us in this direction and what effect does it have on women? The simple truth is that women will always eat up a good love story because we feel we are made to be in one. The only problem is we were made to be in one with our Creator and King of the universe, not to expect our flawed brothers in Christ to be our prince charming…

Go here to read the rest!

Peace to your beautiful hearts,
     - Sr. Elizabeth, TOR

The View

Hi Ladies!
   Are you familiar with the TV show, The View?  I have not watched it, but have gathered that it is a panel of women who talk about various topics and also invite special guests to make an appearance on their show.  But it tends to be on the very secular side.  No real big surprise there.  But recently a similar type of show was brought to my attention.  It is called The Catholic View for Women and it seems to be a Catholic alternative to the show The View.  It sounded pretty interesting so I thought I would check it out.  I found out that it is a program aired by EWTN and they have some pretty amazing topics they talk about such as Radical Feminism vs. New Feminism, Extreme Makeover: Seeing Yourself through the Eyes of Christ, Finding Your Own Catholic Identity/Vocation, Women and the Church through the Centuries, and others!
  While I was on the website I found out that they are about to begin their new Fall season!  Check out the information below to see what great topics they will be touching on this season and tune in!
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The new Fall season of The Catholic View for Women will begin airing on EWTN on Wednesday, September 5, at 11 p.m. ET. Episodes will re-air on Fridays at 10:30 a.m. ET.  The Catholic View for Women is a great alternative to secular, self-absorbed women’s programming!

13 New Episodes include…

•     Welcome Back to the CVFW!
•     Women Leaders in the Church
•     The Single Life: The Third Vocation (Parts one and two)
•     Catholic Weddings/Say Yes to the Marriage!
•     Pornography and the Effect on Women
•     Weird or Real Science (Parts one and two)
•     Language of Love
•     Body & Soul/ Working out and Looking Good for God
•     Reaching Younger Catholic Women
•     Minorities in the Church
•     A Hard Pill to Swallow

The Catholic View for Women features Janet Morana, Executive Director of Priests for Life and Co-Founder of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign; Teresa Tomeo, Host of Catholic Connection Ave Maria Radio program on EWTN Global Catholic Radio, and Astrid Bennett Gutierrez, Executive Director of Los Angeles Pregnancy Services.

You can join in the conversation by sending us your comments, questions, prayer requests, feedback and input for future shows!  Visit us at: http://www.thecatholicviewforwomen.com/. 

Also, connect with us on Facebook – click the “like” button at www.Facebook.com/TheCatholicViewForWomen .
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Happy Viewing!
Peace to your beautiful hearts,
   -Sr. Elizabeth, TOR