The One Thing: Our Stomachs

Fitness Magazine asked both men and women, “What’s the one body part you want to change the most?” A staggering 36% of women easily proclaimed: their stomachs (Editors of Fitness Magazine, 2006). Other studies have been done that also come to the conclusion that women’s least liked body part is their stomach. Glamour magazine did a survey in which 55% of women had abusive thoughts about their overall weight or size with 43% saying certain areas they disliked, the highest being the stomach followed by the thighs (Dreisbach). Think about advertisements to lose weight. These advertisements most likely will broadcast the percentage, inches, or pounds you could lose of belly fat. So, what is the deal with women disliking their stomachs?

Well, babies are held in the woman’s stomach area – the womb - as they grow from conception to birth. This is one of the areas where we as women truly become mothers, where we truly learn more about our femininity and our role in God’s plan. The fact is that women were created with the primary purpose of being mothers, whether spiritually or by giving birth to their own children. The stomach is where new life begins and that is why it is so often attacked. The evil one wants to trick us by turning us into a culture of death and the one place he attacks is the first place where life begins. Think about how many abortions are happening in the world today. The place that is supposed to bring about new life is attacked into becoming a place of death, which leads to the death of motherhood and womanhood. This essential part of our femininity is constantly bombarded with thoughts of hatred and the lies of death.

However, a 34-year-old woman named Ange said this about her stomach, “This belly is not what it used to be before two little girls took up residence in it, but I’m slowly coming to terms with that. The fact that they like to snuggle up to it when they need comforting, reminds me of its purpose and its beauty” (McCombs, 2011). Ange recognizes the beauty of her stomach and the purpose of it.

We, as women, need to do the same with our stomachs. We need to realize that the stomach is the area of our bodies that life first takes place and where we learn about our womanhood. Even Jason Evert said that the stomach is the most sacred part of a woman's body.  

God sent His Son Jesus to enter into the world through our Blessed Mother. The very first place Jesus made His home on earth was in the womb of Mary. The evil one knows this as well, which is yet another reason for the stomach area of a woman to be attacked. However, we as women must truly realize that our stomachs are sacred for the reason that Jesus first resided in the womb of Our Lady. When we realize this we realize that the woman’s stomach is something truly beautiful. We will start to love our stomachs and in doing so start to embrace their purpose for motherhood and womanhood. We will start to grow and learn about our femininity and the role that women play in God’s plan.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Your Sister in Christ

Sources:

Dreisbach, S. (n.d.). Shocking body-image news: 97% of women will be cruel to their bodies today.

Editors of Fitness Magazine. (2006, June). The fitness body image poll.

McCombs, E. (2011). The xojane real girl belly project.

The Secret of Beauty

            There are a few pictures of the same event that have been floating around for quite some time now. In these pictures there is an old woman who has wrinkles on her face from all the smiles throughout her lifetime, who looks frail because her body is starting to tire from all the hard work and giving she has done, and whose hair I am sure has become white with age. There is also a young woman in this picture as well. She is about two feet taller than the old woman, is wearing a beautiful outfit on her youthful body, and a pearly white smile is spread across her face as she encounters this old woman. These pictures were taken 17 years ago of Mother Teresa and Princess Diana. Although popular culture states that in order to be beautiful we must look like Lady Diana, when we looks at this picture we cannot help but come to the realization that both these women are absolutely beautiful. 

            How could both of these women be so beautiful? By today’s standards Mother Teresa does not seem to be a woman that most magazines would want on the front page, let alone someone they would even consider beautiful. She is old, frail, and her face is covered in many wrinkles. Yet, when people would talk with her, make eye contact, and see her smile light up her face each person would walk away claiming that this little old lady is, “the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” This seems to make no sense at all in today’s world. Popular culture will tell us that in order to be beautiful we must be a Princess Diana: tall, thin, flawless, and most certainly not an old woman with wrinkles upon her face. Yet so many people still continued to claim that BOTH of these women are beautiful.

            How could this be? Well, the body is the physical reflection of the soul and the eyes are the very gateway to the soul (SOURCE). By seeing Mother Teresa people were seeing her soul, a soul that was engraved so deeply with the love of God. What made her so beautiful is that as she herself said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Through this quote and her many other understandings of love, Mother Teresa was herself reflecting Love and the beauty of Love. That is why Mother Teresa is seen as the most beautiful woman in the world. Through her hands she gave all she could to help others as Jesus did, through her eyes she looked at the worth of others, through her words she expressed how we must love one another. Her soul was saturated with beautiful love and so her appearance reflected this beauty. St. Augustine understood this when he said, “love is the beauty of the soul.”

Think about it this way: everyone we meet sees us first by appearance, but as we get to know one another our appearances change by the simple way of how we love. We start to see honesty, purity, patience, intelligence, humor, and so many more beautiful gifts that make up our personality. We start to see this person differently. Others start to see what we sometimes cannot see in ourselves. Where we might see a crooked smile our friends see happiness and joy emanating from that very smile. These gifts of our personality that God has given us shine through our physical appearance and when transformed by grace, the light of Christ shines through us with all His beauty and splendor.  

           

Our Lady of Medjugorje was said to appear to Jelena, one of the visionaries, who asked her, “My Lady, why are you so beautiful?” Our Lady answered, “I am beautiful because I love. You want to become beautiful, love and you will not need the mirror so much.” Mirjana, another visionary, when asked how beautiful Our Mother is stated, “That it is not only the superficial beauty that you see from the outside. That something is radiating out of her.” Time and time again we see that if we want to be beautiful we must love.  

            This seems almost impossible that in order to be beautiful we simply have to love. How is this done practically though? Well, we must start off by deepening our relationship with Love (and Beauty!) Himself. Through opening our hearts more and more to God we make more room for Him each day anew. Like Mother Teresa said, “love until it hurts.” When we welcome God more and more we start to receive more graces in order to grow within our faith and love. By doing this we will better recognize little ways we can love others. Instead of scrolling through our Facebook newsfeed to judge others, we will start turning off our computers and volunteering at our churches or read the Bible, etc. We will start listening more to others and looking at them in the eyes instead of only allowing just our voice to be heard. We will start to give more to the poor instead of buying the newest iPhone or television set. We will stop gossiping and start saying nice things about everyone we meet. We will even start to forgive others as well. As we continue to do these “small things with great love” we will begin to seek virtue and avoid vice. We will begin to love more and hate less. In essence we will become beautiful because love will start to emanate through us and others will see just that, beauty transformed by grace.

A sister in Christ

Humility

I have found that the most “dangerous” prayer to pray is the Litany of Humility because God seems to respond instantly. You very soon realize that you just liked the idea of the virtue, not the actual humiliation.

It’s been said that pride is the root of all sin, so it makes sense that humility is dear to Jesus’ Heart. It’s a virtue that seems elusive, because even with all the nice intentions, worldly desires and temptations war against it and sometimes win without us even realizing it. Through reading the Diary of St. Faustina, I have come to change my view of humility: from it being a seemingly unobtainable, distant virtue that you pray for quickly so God won’t really hear you, to a beautiful and necessary gift that gives you a thousand and one opportunities to grow and remind you that you are living for Someone else.

I love how St. Faustina describes humility:

(1306) O humility, lovely flower, I see how few souls possess

you. Is it because you are so beautiful and at the same time so difficult to attain? O yes, it is both the one and the other. Even God takes great pleasure in her. The floodgates of heaven are open to a humble soul, and a sea of graces flows down upon her. O how beautiful is a humble soul! From her heart, as from a censer, rises a varied and most pleasing fragrance which breaks through the skies and reaches God Himself, filling His Most Sacred Heart with joy. God refuses nothing to such a soul; she is all-powerful and influences the destiny of the whole world. God raises such a soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles herself, the more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul is most deeply united with God. O humility, strike deep roots in my whole being. O Virgin most pure, but also most humble, help me to attain deep humility. Now I understand why there are so few saints; it is because so few souls are deeply humble.

As I was first reading her diary, I noticed the countless times St. Faustina goes on about how she is the worst of sinners, most wretched, etc.

And when I read this I would think, “Really Faustina? Really?”

I would roll my eyes and shake my head and think she was being ridiculous or overly sensitive.

But then Jesus would say to her, “You see what you are of yourself, but do not be frightened at this. If I were to reveal to you the whole misery that you are, you would die of terror. However, be aware of what you are.” (718)

And I would look at myself and think, “…Well, this isn’t good…”

She isn’t the first saint to have said this. And she, like the other saints, isn’t trying to engage in some who-can-insult-themselves-the-most contest.Like the saints before her who have said this, St. Faustina did not compare herself to others, only to God. And so, even one sin, compared with the perfection of God, filled her with disgust and grief. When she looked at herself, St. Faustina tried to look at herself with the eyes of Christ, so she was able to see the misery of her human brokenness made beautiful by the mercy and love of her Spouse. She was able to see the truth of herself and in that light, she saw how utterly dependent she was on God and His Mercy. So how could she refuse Him anything He asked of her? Though she was the recipient of apparitions and spiritual encounters few ever experience, she did not take this as a sign she was spiritually “superior” to others. She constantly begs for God’s Mercy for her soul and the souls of all those around her.

Making room for humility leaves less space for pride and jealousy – two very destructive vices (and really, when compared with the perfection of God, and realizing our complete dependence on Him, what do we have to be prideful of?). Humility gives you freedom to love completely, because your focus has turned outward to the rest of the world instead of inward on yourself. Humility allows for more trust in God and His plans, without fear keeping you from stepping out into the unknown.

Yes, on some stressful weeks, praying the Litany of Humility still sometimes make me hesitate, thinking, “It’s a rough time right now, put off praying that, so nothing else will go wrong right now.”

Ridiculous, I know.

And it is in those moments of hesitation that I remind myself that humility is not measured by how stressful your day is. Humility is constantly letting go of fear and selfishness and pride and instead focusing on opening yourself to all the graces He has ready for you so you can view today as a chance to bring others to heaven.

That others become holier than I, provided that I might become as holy as I should, Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

Mary- the Best of Mothers

I stated in the introduction to the blog series that St. Faustina’s Diary pushed me into the arms of Christ. While I was gaining a better understanding of Christ’s relationship with me, I was also awestruck by how incredible His Mother is (again).

I don’t think there are adequate words to describe how amazing she is. “Amazing” just seems blah when talking about her, but so do “remarkable,” “wonderful,” and “marvelous.” No wonder she has so many titles.

It should not surprise you that St. Faustina was visited by Our Lady multiple times, and of course the saint wrote down everything Our Blessed Mother said to her. Which is fantastic for us because we get to read it and be reminded of how incredible she is and how blessed we are to have her as a mother.
Here are some of St. Faustina’s encounters with Our Lady.

(25) “Mary, my Mother, do you know how terribly I suffer?” And the Mother of God answered me, “I know how much you suffer, but do not be afraid. I share with you your suffering, and I shall always do so.” She smiled warmly and disappeared.

(330) “I am not only the Queen of Heaven, but also the Mother of Mercy and your Mother.”

(449) “I am Mother to you all, thanks to the unfathomable mercy of God. Most pleasing to Me is the soul which faithfully carries out the will of God…Be courageous. Do not fear apparent obstacles, but fix your gaze upon the Passion of My Son, and in this way you will be victorious.”

(608) The most Holy Mother said to me, “Take my Dearest Treasure.” And She handed me the Infant Jesus.

(786) As I continued Vespers, meditating on this mixture of suffering and grace, I heard the voice of Our Lady, “Know, My daughter, that although I was raised to the dignity of Mother of God, seven swords of pain pierced My heart. Don’t do anything to defend yourself; bear everything with humility; God Himself will defend you.”

(1414) Smiling at me She said to me, “My daughter, at God’s command I am to be, in a special and exclusive way your Mother; but I desire that you, too, in a special way, be My child.”

(1415) “I desire, My dearly beloved daughter, that you practice the three virtues that are dearest to Me – and most pleasing to God. The first is humility, humility, and once again humility; the second virtue, purity; the third virtue, love of God. As My daughter, you must especially radiate with these virtues.”

(686) In the evening, I saw the Mother of God, with Her breast bared and pierced with a sword. She was shedding bitter tears and shielding us against God’s terrible punishment. God wants to inflict terrible punishment on us, but He cannot because the Mother of God is shielding us. Horrible fear seized my soul. I kept praying incessantly for Poland…If it were not for the Mother of God, all our efforts would be of little use.

We must never forget the fierce motherly love Our Lady has for each of us. She comes to each of us individually as our Mother with a message of pure and true love. She is not confined to a small corner of heaven, kept out of sight now that her earthly mission is “done.” Mary is a busy Queen, she is actively interceding in our lives. Her motherly heart did not cease to beat at the crucifixion, rather, as Pope Francis says in his homily on Jan. 1, 2013, “Her sorrowing heart was enlarged to make room for all men and women, all, whether good or bad, and she loves them as she loved Jesus.”

When we see Our Lady’s strength, gentleness, persistence, and love, how can we not run to her? As Pope Francis says toward the end of his homily, “To her let us entrust our journey of faith, the desires of our heart, our needs and the needs of the whole world, especially of those who hunger and thirst for justice and peace, and for God.”

And so I leave you with this prayer from the Diary,
(161) O Mary, Immaculate Virgin,
Pure crystal for my heart,
You are my strength, O secure anchor,
You are a shield and protection for a weak heart.
O Mary, you are pure and unparalleled,
Virgin and Mother at one and the same time;
You’re beautiful as the sun, by nothing defiled,
Nothing is worthy of comparison to the image of Your soul.


Your beauty enthralled the Thrice-Holy One’s eye,
That He came down from heaven, forsaking th’eternal See’s throne,
And assumed from Your Heart Body and Blood,
Hiding for nine months in the Virgin’s Heart.


O Mother, Virgin, this will no one comprehend,
That the infinite God is becoming a man;
It’s only love’s and His inscrutable mercy’s purpose.
Through You, Mother- it’s given us to live with Him forever.


O Mary, Virgin Mother and Heaven’s Gate,
Through You salvation came to us;
Every grace to us streams forth through Your hands,
And faithful imitation of You only will sanctify me.


O Mother, Virgin – most beautiful Lily.
Your Heart was for Jesus the first tabernacle on earth,
And that, because Your humility was the deepest,
Wherefore You were raised above Angel choirs and Saints.
O Mary, my sweet Mother,
To You I turn over my soul, my body and my poor heart.
Be the safeguard of my life,
Especially at death’s hour, in the final fight.         

One

One of my favorite scenes from the Bible (are we allowed to have favorites?) is after the angel stops Abraham from killing Isaac and God tells the very relieved Abraham that all the world has been blessed because of Abraham’s obedience.

It always seemed to me so much more legitimate than the cheerleader-style chant “YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!”.

Because whenever I heard that I always thought-

FALSE!

God changes the world, and He can use YOU to be His hands and feet and voice.

Which is still a huge deal, even bigger and better than you struggling through on your own.

So it really didn’t surprise me when this came up in St. Faustina’s diary.

It just surprised me HOW MUCH it was talked about!

Allow me to list out some of the parts the world or specific people are blessed through St. Faustina’s prayers and obedience to the Lord’s will.

(39) When I saw the kindness of Jesus, I began to beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, “For your sake I bless the entire country”. And he made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul.

(198) On one occasion the Lord said to me, “My daughter, your confidence and love restrain My justice, and I cannot inflict punishment because you hinder Me from doing so.” Oh, how great is the power of a soul filled with confidence!

(202) For no other soul did I bring so many sacrifices and sufferings and prayers before the throne of God as I did for her soul. I felt I had forced God to grant her grace. When I reflect on all this, I see that it was truly a miracle. Now I can see how much power intercessory prayer has before God.

(320) Jesus made known to me how very pleasing to Him were prayers of atonement. He said to me, “The prayer of a humble and loving soul disarms the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean of blessings.”

(570) “Out of love for you all I will avert any punishments which are rightly meted out by my Father’s justice. My daughter, I have inclined My heart to your requests.”

(719) Today, I heard these words: “Know, my child, that for your sake I grant blessings to this whole vicinity…For the sake of your gratitude, I will continue to bless them.”

(818) After Holy Communion, Jesus said to me, “I cannot suffer that country any longer. Do not tie my hands, My daughter.” I understood that if it had not been for the prayers of souls that are pleasing to God, that whole nation would have already been reduced to nothingness.

(961) PARAPHRASING: Faustina is told she can’t do great penances and mortifications for the time being. She starts crocheting and she decides to ask the Trinity that for every stitch with the crochet hook, a soul would be converted. Jesus points out this is quite a big request and she counters with He saved souls while doing the simple work of a carpenter. He agrees and grants her request.

(980) “My heart is pleased with you, and for your sake I am blessing the earth.”

(1078) “Host, dear to My Heart, for your sake I bless the earth.”

(1722) I heard these words: “If you did not tie My hands, I would send down many punishments upon the earth. My daughter, your look disarms My anger. Although your lips are silent, you call out to Me so mightily that all heaven is moved. I cannot escape from your requests, because you pursue Me, not from afar but within your own heart.”

AND THAT’S NOT NEARLY ALL OF THEM!

It’s so incredibly beautiful that the mighty heart of the Alpha and Omega, the Lion of Judah, the Savior, the Most Holy Trinity, is moved so greatly by the prayers of a simple, imperfect woman. She comes to Him in total love and is not afraid to ask great things of Him. For her acts of love, obedience, humility, and trust, He pours out blessings not only upon St. Faustina, but to the world. These times of blessings are not exclusive to St. Faustina, I believe it happens each time we choose to follow the will of the Lord and reach out to Him and others with unselfish love. We just don’t usually hear Christ tell us He’s blessing others through us. Often we never see or fully realize the fruits of our actions and prayers.

Always keep in mind that YOU are a blessing to the world. Your femininity, the unique beauty of the voice of your soul, these are gifts to the world, even if others do not recognize it.

I’m not going to give you a list with a headline of “WANT TO BE A BLESSING TO THE WORLD? HERE’S 10 EASY WAYS!!” That’s for you and the Lord to talk about together, because honestly He knows you and your life way better than I ever will.

So looking at your gifts and your vocation as a daughter of God and sister in Christ to all, ask yourself and the Holy Spirit every morning: How is God asking me to be a blessing today?

Then ask for ALL THE GRACES AND ALL THE BLESSINGS!!

Because you know you’re irresistible to Him.

When we go out and follow the will of the Lord unreservedly, the world cannot help but be changed forever.

Amen.

*I could/would love to talk forever about the beauty of women and how awesome we are, but Blessed John Paul II says it better than I ever could in Mulieris Dignitatem.

Add that to your reading list.*

*I came across this when going through the diary recently. Here’s a instance that just shows how cool St. Faustina is. Seriously.*

(320) After the adoration, half way to my cell, I was surrounded by a pack of huge black dogs who were jumping and howling and trying to tear me to pieces. I realized that they were not dogs, but demons. One of them spoke up in a rage, “Because you have snatched so many souls away from us this night, we will tear you to pieces.” I answered, “If that is the will of the most merciful God, tear me to pieces, for I have justly deserved it, because I am the most miserable of all sinners, and God is ever holy, just, and infinitely merciful.” To these words all the demons answered as one, “Let us flee, for she is not alone; the Almighty is with her!” And they vanished like dust, like the noise of the road, while I continued on my way to my cell undisturbed, finishing my Te Deum and pondering the infinite and unfathomable mercy of God.  

Oh Man...!

Ladies, I have earth shattering news.

Jesus. Is. A. Man.

You may be laughing at me, or rolling your eyes, but up until reading St. Faustina’s diary, I didn’t really believe it. Not that I thought He was a woman, but I wasn’t fully convinced that He is a MAN.

Over the years, I had heard countless talks/lines intent on convincing me of the manliness of Jesus. But no matter how legitimate the words were, I wasn’t completely convinced. In my mind He seemed so perfect that He was too perfect to be a “real man” somehow. That His perfection was somehow feminizing. That He was a bit of a push-over and probably never jumped in mud puddles or brought home lizards as a kid.

But then I started looking into His relationship with St. Faustina.

And I realized Jesus is a manly, manly, manly, MAN.

Not some distant, cutesy Jesus-is-my-boyfriend.

A. Man.

Like the kind of man who would wrestle a grizzly bear and win just for fun.

What really struck me was His wildness, that He really was the untamed Lion of Judah. But with His wildness, there was a great gentleness, one that was genuine and tender. These aren’t different factions at war within Him, He is one complete man. He took masculinity and perfected it, giving us the ultimate-ULTIMATE MAN.

Allow me to share with you SOME of the words He spoke to St. Faustina that convinced me of the manliness of his humanity.

(27) Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul, darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: “You are my joy; you are My heart’s delight.”

(158) “All this I created for you, My spouse; and know that all this beauty is nothing compared to what I have prepared for you in eternity.”

(238) “My daughter, your heart is My heaven.”

(239) “My spouse, our hearts are joined forever. Remember to Whom you have vowed…”

(295) At that moment Jesus asked me, “My child, how is your retreat going?” I answered, “But Jesus, You know how it is going.” “Yes, but I want to hear it from your own lips and from your heart.”

(512) “You are My great joy; your love and your humility make Me leave the heavenly throne and unite Myself with you. Love fills up the abyss that exists between My greatness and your nothingness.”

(576) “My daughter, love has brought Me here, and love keeps Me here.”

(853) “My daughter, I too came down from heaven out of love for you; I lived for you, I died for you, and I created the heavens for you.”

(866) “My daughter, I want to repose in your heart, because many souls have thrown Me out of their hearts today. I have experienced sorrow unto death.”

(960) “…What are you thinking about right now?”

(1061) “Beloved pearl of My Heart, I see your love so pure, purer than that of the angels, and all the more so because you keep fighting.”

(1542) “Know then that I want you to unite yourself more closely to Me. I am concerned about every beat of your heart. Every stirring of your love is reflected in My Heart. I thirst for your love.”

(1669) “Heart of My Heart, be filled with joy.”

And if you need any more proof that Jesus is in fact a man-

(928) Then suddenly I saw the Lord, who clasped me to His heart and said to me, “My daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I will grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying.”

And finally,

(587) I suddenly saw Jesus in great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: “My daughter, if you wish, I will this instant create a new world, more beautiful than this one, and you will live there for the rest of your life.” I answered, “I don’t want any worlds. I want You, Jesus. I want to love You, with the same love that You have for me. I beg You for only one thing; to make my heart capable of loving You. I am very much surprised at Your offer, my Jesus; what are those worlds to me? Even if You gave me a thousand of them, what are they to me? You know very well, Jesus, that my heart is dying of longing for You. Everything that is not You is nothing to me.”

Oh my.

Pardon me as I blush.

Seriously!

In His relationship with St. Faustina, it is very clear He is a man who is desperately in love with a woman.

He even sends his best soldier- St. Michael himself- to protect His woman (706).

Sometimes when she feels surrounded by darkness or there are demons attacking her, Jesus comes out of nowhere and BAM! the Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not/cannot overcome Him and then He holds her in His arms.

There are multiple times when Christ looks like He’s about to storm off and destroy Russia, but Faustina just asks Him not too and He’s all “Don’t tie My hands! I have to do this, I can’t take it anymore!” And she keeps asking Him not too and He eventually calms down.

Jesus is not all fun and games. Jesus can get angry. With righteous fury of course.

He is a wild man.

And He also invented poetry and chocolate.

I know we hear all the time that consecrated sisters are “brides of Christ”, but I suppose I didn’t really believe they were the SPOUSE of God. There were a couple moments when I was reading the conversations between Faustina and Christ, and the prayers she would write down, and honestly I would blush and ask myself- “am I allowed to read this? It seems private…” When you realize she meant every single word and it’s not just pretty words, it takes on a whole new intensity.

I’m still not sure why their conversations struck me so deeply. I’ve been told since I was a baby that Jesus died for me, which when you think about it is the most manly thing a man can do. Maybe I had heard it so often the meaning of those words unfortunately became muted. Whatever the reason, I was happily surprised it hit me the way it did, and I am very thankful for St. Faustina writing it all down.

I highly encourage you to sit with the words, especially her prayers she wrote throughout the diary, and go deeper in your relationship with Christ.    

I Read Her Diary

I Read Her Diary

I couldn’t help myself.

It was just sitting there out in the open, and I was curious.

So I picked it up and read it.

I finally read the Diary of St. Faustina.

I had this idea in the back of my mind the diary would just be a little spiritual supplement reading and I would walk away from it thinking, “well wasn’t that cute! Aw she loves Jesus so much!”

I was wrong.

It took over my life and opened my eyes to a whole new reality of Christ.

I first picked up the book in the last two weeks of my semester in Austria (shout-out to Austria Fall 2012!). I had experienced profound changes in my spiritual life and in my relationships with the saints and Our Lady by this time, but this book pushed me into Christ’s arms. I devoured it and read the whole thing within a few days (during finals week I might add).

I’ve condensed some of the main things I gleaned from St. Faustina’s diary down to some blog posts. I encourage you to read the diary yourself if you haven’t already (and rereading it is always excellent) and let the words sink in. Maybe have a sort of book club/discussion group and hear what impacts other women. Almost a full year later, it still thrills my heart. I hope this beautiful saint’s diary will lead you closer to Christ and allow you to experience His Love in a deeper and more profound way.

*Disclaimer*- These are my own reflections, I am no profound theologian and I do not pretend to be an expert in Divine Mercy or St. Faustina.

Let’s start at the beginning.

St. Faustina (then Helena Kowalska), wanted to enter the convent from the time she was seven years old. She felt in the deepest part of her heart that this was what she was called to. When she was eighteen, she asked her parents for permission to enter the convent.

They refused.

St. Faustina writes, “After this refusal, I turned myself over to the vain things of life, paying no attention to the call of grace, although my soul found no satisfaction in any of these things. The incessant call of grace caused me much anguish; I tried, however, to stifle it with amusements. Interiorly, I shunned God, turning with all my heart to creatures. However, God’s grace won out in my soul.” (8)

St. Faustina was out at a dance with her sister. Everyone else was having a great time, but her heart was heavy. As she was dancing, she suddenly saw Jesus at her side.

Not smiling-happy-Sunday-school-Jesus. He appeared to her as a crucified Christ, racked with pain and covered in wounds. He says to her, “How long shall I put up with you and how long will you keep putting me off?”

So that night she ran away from home and entered the convent.

This image struck me as much as His words did- How long shall I put up with you and how long will you keep putting me off? Christ isn’t chilling out, happy as a clam, saying, “Oh it’s ok dear! You just keep doing your thing and I’ll be over here. Don’t want to get in your way.” Jesus is suffering, He is in agony waiting for her to join Him with her cross that will lead to sainthood. He has called to the heart and soul of Faustina.

There is work to be done.

It is easy and sometimes even enjoyable to brainstorm ideas to grow closer to God. How often do we begin with enthusiasm for these new goals, only to gradually push them aside as soon as we have a big test to study for, or a crazy week at work? How often do we leave it as just a nice list of things to do? I am guilty of both situations. My most common line I tell myself is, “I’ll start that tomorrow.” But tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. And Christ wants you NOW!

If we say that heaven is our ultimate goal, then why do we so often bump prayer and sacrifice down our to-do list? If God has placed a vocation or particular sacrifice on your heart, go for it with everything you have. How can we give Him less when He has given us everything?

Each of us is a unique soul with a unique purpose in life. Not everyone can be the Secretary of Divine Mercy like St. Faustina. But she also can’t be what you are called to be.

If you ever find yourself in need of motivation to really start living for Christ, or continue when it seems undesirable, call to mind the image that was presented to St. Faustina- a wounded Christ, waiting for you to walk with Him. May we, like Faustina, immediately leave our lives of procrastination behind and run to follow Him.

There is work to be done.