I Shall Not Want

For the past several weeks Audrey Assad's song, "I shall not want," has constantly played on repeat in my mind or from my computer. When I find a song that I really like or am moved by, I tend to play it over and over and over again, to the point that I will drive people who are frequently around me crazy. For whatever reason, this song absolutely captivated me the first time I heard it, and in taking time to listen and think about the lyrics, I wanted to share some of the beauty I have found in the song with all of you.

"From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God"

This song starts by beautifully quoting from the litany of humility. I don't know about you all, but this is one of the most difficult prayers for me to pray. In the prayer, I feel as though I am asking Christ to completely strip me of my wants and my desires and to replace them with His will; it leaves me raw before God. It is a huge act of surrender and trust before God, truly believing that He will take care of me.

"From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God"

I want to be comfortable and have possessions in the world to make me more comfortable; I want to be understood and accepted; I don't want to be lonely. To be stripped of these "possessions" leaves me empty before the Lord.

We should not fear this emptiness before the Lord, for He finds great beauty in this emptiness which has the capacity to be receptive. This is one of the special traits a woman has that makes her truly beautiful. Beauty is so incredibly fragile and vulnerable, yet this openness that is in a woman is a gift to humanity. There is a beautiful book titled, "The Reed of God," written by Caryll Houselander, and in this book Caryll talks about an empty hollowness that the Virgin Mary had within her. Each woman has a special emptiness within her similar to Mary; women have both a physical and spiritual emptiness in which she is able to accept life into her (either God or a child). This capacity is what allows her to bear life to the world.

So may we as women be unified in being open to those around us and to the Lord, to bring His goodness to the world rather than taking it for ourselves.

"And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste your goodness I shall not want
When I taste your goodness I shall not want"

In Christ's Peace,
Ali