Day 10: True Beauty Challenge

 “When you wonder about the mystery of yourself, look to Christ, who gives you the meaning of life.”

–Blessed Pope John Paul II

In high school I heard someone say, “The only difference between college and high school girls is that girls in college wear less makeup.”  I remember being in high school and telling my family what I had heard.  My family has never been a fan of me wearing so much makeup so they really liked that quote.  They told me that I should be ahead of my time and stop wearing so much makeup.  My response was when I am in college that is when I will deal with it. 

 Well now I am in college and I am dealing with it.  The tough part about being at Franciscan is that there are not many women who wear too much makeup or depend on it, so immediately I compare myself.  I let Satan whisper in my ear that other women are captivating without makeup but I am not.  Beautiful, holy women who do not wear makeup surround me everyday and I believed if I showed my real self, people would realize I was unattractive.  The joy they radiate is the only makeup they need to look beautiful.  I realized that and I desire it.  I hate being dependent on makeup.  It is not a good feeling.  I had this desire to go without makeup but I did not think I was as beautiful as them and would be able to pull it off.   

I did not even realize I struggled with this until I came to Franciscan.  Here at school I was put face to face with my insecurities.  At home there was never really an instance for my friends, especially my guy friends to see me without makeup, so my dependence on it never occurred to me.  In college though you live with your peers and they are bound to see you without your mask.   

I even wore my makeup to bed the first night of freshman year of college because I did not want to scare my new roommate.  I would start thinking about things in the future.  Crap, if I do a mission trip in another country I will not be able to wear makeup.  I was even concerned about studying abroad in Austria.  Shoot, when I am traveling and have to travel through the night, people will see me without makeup.  How messed up is that?

 I knew this was an issue but never really had to deal with it till a women’s ministry meeting we had a few weeks ago.

 In our meeting we were discussing what to give up for lent for the women on campus.  We were throwing out ideas for a little bit then someone mentioned the idea of giving up makeup and I froze.  I did not want to do that… I could not do that.  But something beautiful happened to me throughout the meeting.  The Lord started to break down my walls and helped me open up to the idea.  I desired it and He desires me to see myself without it and feel beautiful.  Someone on the team started to talk about what the True Beauty Challenge entailed and said that you can pick one or two products to use and I decided I THINK I can do this! I NEED to do this!

I reluctantly raised my hand and agreed to take on the challenge that I have dreaded for so long.  I decided to only wear mascara.  No bronzer or eye shadow or blush or anything else. 

I know I am not super legit and did not go cold turkey on makeup but the cool thing is, I have allowed myself to wear less and less each day.  I hope by the end of the 40 days to go completely without. 

What I have observed the last week and a half is that most people do not even notice.  I am the only one that notices.  I am my own worst critic.  I also realized that more people struggle with makeup dependence than I thought.  I would tell people what we are doing as women’s ministry and they would respond in awe.  Some said they don’t think they could do that, while there are also others who do it everyday. 

 Before I end I want you to know that makeup is not bad!  But do not let it hid the beauty God has created.  He is proud of His work so be proud of it too!  Praise and thank Him for your individual beauty!

A prayer that is in the True Beauty Challenge book that really spoke to me and I hope speaks to you is, “ Heavenly Father, thank you for fashioning me perfectly, please help me to compare myself only to you.  May we as women affirm the true beauty of each other’s souls and put aside physical comparisons that do not lead to holiness.  Transform my mind and heart to know and live true beauty.  Amen.”

In Him,

Olivia