Jane Austen is My Homegirl

Hi Ladies!

    I thought now that it is Christmas break and most of you will have extra time on your hands, I wanted to give you a few good, solid, things in which to get absorbed to the otherwise not-so-holy alternatives that may bombard your life over break. 

    One is a website called Single Catholic Girl.  It is definitely worth checking out!  There are great blogs on the site about relationships and dating, fashion (even a list of stores and online sites to buy modest clothing!), video clips from Jason Evert, articles and thoughts on femininity, and lastest books and music out there.  Here is a teaser of some of the fun videos on the blog (Hint: "Jane Austen is My Homegirl" rap)

    Another website I recently ran across is Emily Stimpson's website.  She is a local Steubenville writer with great stuff on femininity.  She has a great sense of humor that comes out in her writing.  Here is a funny video about her latest book.  

    I hope you all enjoy your break - fill it with Truth, Goodness, and Beauty!

  

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Happy Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

December 12

May she who carries Emmanuel enfold you in her womb, close to Him.

Advent Blessings!

(For an account of the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe click here.)

Live and Love Radically

Anyone who has an iPhone will understand my frustration when I go to type in the word "love" and end up with "live" instead. Yes, I definitely wanted to say "I live you", iPhone. Thanks for that. But as it keeps happening, I have started to realize that in actuality, the words are not that different.
To love is to live, and to live is to love.
When we live according to how we were made, we live a life of love. Our very being exists as a self-gift to those around us. And likewise, when we love like this, we reach the fullness of what it means to be human. God created us (as women) to be a help-mate for man. The very essence of our being is only fulfilled when we are able to surrender ourselves over to the other as a sacrifice of love.
Those are big shoes to fill.

I've been thinking about this quite frequently the past couple weeks. It is a running theme in Blessed John Paul II's writings, this idea of self-gift. But what does it mean to give of yourself? Well, in the context of marriage we can see this being pretty obvious. And too, the very essence of religious life is that one has given oneself completely to the Lord. But what about those of us who are single? How do we live our lives as a gift to others, and to God?
Very carefully, as my ornery teenage self would say.

Last night I had a dream that I was on a railroad, walking with hundreds of other people. I didn't know where we were going or what was happening, but all of a sudden people were being tortured and killed. It was horrifying, and scary, and all I wanted to do was run away. But slowly I realized these were martyrs; these people around me were being killed because they were proclaiming the Gospel. I remember so vividly my desire to run away and escape the violence and fear that was surrounding me. But when I woke up I realized just what a gift that dream was, because it gives me so much insight into my own life. I think it's so easy for me to take the easy way out. I know I have a very hard time ever embracing, let alone desiring suffering. I like being comfortable. But comfort is not how we will get to Heaven.

Sometimes, we have to quit running. We have to learn how to remain where we are and endure what we're going through to be purified and strengthened. I know I've often prayed for God to allow me to become a martyr (that was without really knowing what I was praying, for sure). If we look at the lives of great saints who were martyrs (St. Ignatius of Antioch, St. Maximillian Kolbe, St. Maria Goretti, St. Joan of Arc, Blessed Miguel Pro, Blessed Jose Sanchez del Rio, just to name a few), we can clearly see they did not lead lives of comfort.
Sometimes I tell myself that if I was called to be a martyr, God would give me the strength to get through it in that moment, which to some degree is true. But I also see it as a culmination of the suffering we have endured throughout our lives. In a sense, the suffering that we go through in our lives right now is preparing us for whatever God has in store for us later. For the martyrs, I'm sure they endured extensive suffering before they gave their lives over for good. This is where the idea of self gift comes into play. The more we live for others in every moment, saying yes to their needs and saying no to our own desires, the more we are inclined to recognize that our lives are not our own. We are given this gift to serve others, but most of all to serve God. That is where true freedom is found.

I'm not saying each of us is called to great suffering, or even called to martyrdom. But we also must recognize that it is a reality in the times we live in. In the world today, someone is martyred for their Christian faith every 5 minutes.* We must be prepared to live our lives not for ourselves, but for the God that created us. We must be prepared to give our lives as the ultimate self-gift, and to live and love radically.


*http://www.cesnur.org/2011/mi-cri-en.html



In Him,
Clarissa

Big, Green, Ugly Monster for Halloween

There once was a young girl whose favorite holiday was Halloween. Over the years she dressed as Princess Ariel, a spa queen, and so many others.  Her favorite of all, however, was the beautiful ice princess costume she was allowed to buy, which was unlike her other homemade costumes.  The questions that always crossed her mind when choosing a costume were,  “would I look dazzling in that costume?” or “should I be Cat Girl for Halloween this year instead of a another princess?” Although she was not actually nor ever would be Princess Ariel, a spa queen, or an ice princess, for the day she was able to be whomever she wanted and the possibilities were endless.  As she got older though, Halloween was less exciting and thinking she was a princess was only accepted in her childhood imagination.  She started to think less and less about her Halloween costumes. Now, the questions that consumed her mind were things like “why does she look dazzling in that dress and I don't?” or “why are they talking to her instead of me?”  Instead of thinking she was a princess and being a carefree child, she became a big, green, ugly monster of jealousy that cared too much about what people thought.  She did not just wear this monster costume for Halloween; she started to wear it everyday.

I have a confession.  This little girl was me.  Maybe it was just me being a typical girl but these thoughts frequently cross my mind.  I don't think I am alone in this battle.  As women we no doubt struggle with comparing ourselves.  We compare our looks, we compare our personalities, we compare our bodies, we even compare our faith life.  This is something we need to work on or it will consume our thoughts and our lives and will no doubt ruin our relationships.

Anyone who struggles with jealousy most likely is not happy with that feeling. I think we can all agree jealousy is an ugly and all-consuming trait.  Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”  I have tried many times to get over those stupid, insecure thoughts but somehow they seep back into my mind.  It is important to decipher what exactly you are struggling with because it is through addressing these struggles that you will find God.  Although this battle might seem never ending, there is hope.  That hope comes from knowing God.

John 13:15 says, “I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”  Instead of looking at others we seem to think are perfect and have it all together, we need to look at the few people that truly are perfect, inside and out: Jesus Christ and Momma Mary.  Both of them walked the same earth that we are walking and they should be the only people we want to be like.  They understand our struggles and know the tribulations of this world.  The only way you could become more beautiful is to become more like God and be His.

The other thing we MUST keep in mind is that God made us unique.  God did not want to make us robots.  He wants us to embrace our uniqueness.  He wants us to recognize the individual gifts He has given us.  We are irreplaceable and that is what makes mankind such a beautiful thing.  God sees our beauty and is left speechless by it.  Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians, “For you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which belongs to God.”  The best way to realize we are unique and glorify God is to humble ourselves before the Lord.  Humility is not beautiful people thinking they are ugly or smart people thinking they are dumb.  Humility is seeing yourself as God sees you, no more, no less.  That is who we truly are and being who we were made to be is a beautiful thing.  Women are always more beautiful when you can see Christ in them.  We must have humble confidence in our beauty, our God-given beauty.

You must also know that we all struggle with jealousy and comparing ourselves.  The girl that you think has everything together and looks “perfect” from the outside, no doubt has struggles of her own and more than likely has some issues of insecurity too.  We must again humbly build each other up and let each other know of the beauty deep down inside that we know is true.  Let others know they are more than adequate and also believe that you are too.

Every time you find yourself thinking jealous thoughts, realize these thoughts are not of God.  Demand that the Devil gets out of your mind so that you can find God’s peace.  Satan wants to neutralize us as women, but we were made to be different and we need to embrace our different gifts.

It saddens me that at one time all of us were so carefree and loving of one another and now as we are older, we over think everything we do.  Go back to being the princess you once believed you were.  Let that be your prayer.  Know you are dazzling.  Rejoice in your uniqueness. Don’t be a big, green, ugly monster of jealousy.  Once you are stripped of your makeup, clothes and nonsense worrying, that is where you will find your beauty.  Jealousy is a lack of belief in your own beauty.  So ask Jesus to show you your beauty!  You will see how truly beautiful you are inside and out.

In Him,
Olivia

To Wear or Not to Wear? (part II)

Hello Ladies!

In my last post, http://fuswomen.blogspot.com/2012/09/to-wear-or-not-to-wear-part-i.html, I shared a little bit of what I have learned throughout the past year or so about the traditional practice of wearing a chapel veil. Today, as promised, I'd like to share with you what experiences I have had that have prompted me to embrace the tradition myself. After all, the faith is brought into sharper focus only as we personally experience it. Just think of it in terms of meeting someone new. It is one thing to gather a basic understanding of an individual from a secondary source (perhaps a friend or an online profile) but it is something entirely different to experience the primary source, to encounter the person face-to-face. Every tradition of the Church can be seen this way: in carefully crafting an encounter with history's most significant person, the beloved first truth, Jesus Christ. On that note, my experience is not your own. I do not expect my account to prompt you to take up the practice of wearing the veil. In fact, I'd rather you not take my word for it. Rather, I hope my testimony will encourage you to seek from the Lord whether He is calling you to follow the tradition as well. If you are unsure or nervous about wearing the veil, ask the Lord for His will on the matter. If He wishes to ask this of you, He will show you. You will encounter His request in a sweetly personal way.

Some of you may know that I participated in Crossroads, a Pro-Life walk across America, this  summer. One of my fellow walkers was a 21 year old Theology student – who happened to wear a chapel veil. We soon learned that she had spent a few months after high school in a convent near Spokane, Washington. When I asked about her conviction in wearing the veil, she admitted that it was only during this time of daily prayer and formation that she had begun the practice. The lasting advice I received from her was, “You have to wear the veil on your heart before you can wear it on your head.”

I carried this concept throughout most of the summer, mulling it over in my head and trying to grasp what exactly it meant to wear a veil on one's heart. It seemed like such an abstraction at times. As we traveled across the country we saw many churches, some of which (especially the Cathedrals) were simply magnificent. I think it was amid passing the thresholds of these wonders that my understanding was beginning to be fleshed out. I would often think to myself while approaching the church's great doors, “And I shall enter the house of my Father with fear and trembling.” The fear and trembling I was referring to was a recognition of the true magnificence of God that these sacred buildings prompted me to encounter – a magnificence far beyond that which any man-made structure could ever house. I realized this was the veil I had begun to place over my heart.

On our next WalMart run, I bought a thin white scarf that I could wrap around my head as a temporary veil. But it wasn't until another few weeks later when I unpacked the scarf from my travel bag for use. We had reached Cleveland by this time and were again staying with the Little Sisters of the Poor for the weekend. (May God bless their order for the generosity we received from various elderly homes they run throughout the country.) It was always such a blessing to repose in the same building that had a chapel. Friday night, I shimmied over to the chapel in my sock-slippers (a wonderful privilege Franciscan has surely spoiled me with).

This facility's chapel had a wooden statue of Mary and Joseph on their respective sides of the altar. Though I was of course enamored by the image of Our Lady, this statue did not feature her wearing a veil. It was not the first we had seen on the trip, yet the Lord in His goodness allowed it to strike me in a peculiar way. Deep within me I heard myself say, “Meh, bummer.” Again I wish to stress that this in no way was in relation to any lacking within Our Lady or my love for her. And the acknowledgment of my inward thought was certainly shocking to me as well. I immediately questioned why I had felt this way. I soon recognized that it was not only this particular statue, but any others which did not feature our Lady with a veil, that possessed this drawback within me. Again, I interrogated myself: Why? The Lord then gave me the grace to understand that my preference for a veiled Blessed Virgin was due to the supreme virtues that only this detail could help convey to me. I was able to recognize that within my human weakness my understanding of humility before God and in the presence of God demanded a symbol: the veil.

I quickly reviewed this revelation in relation to my thoughts upon entering a stunning church or Cathedral. These too were symbols for me of God's awe-inspiring presence in the world. But how could I recognize this blessed presence within churches and buildings that weren't so spectacular? My mind was thrown into a 360 when the answer came to me: the veil. In my human weakness, the veil serves as a reminder that whenever I am in the presence of my Savior, indeed that dwelling place is magnificent and demands recognition of such. The veil further helps me to embrace my position of subordination. Indeed, once I realized that I more clearly understood the luminous virtues within Our Blessed Mother when I gazed upon images of her wearing a veil, I realized that my quest to become as much a reflection of her as possible required me to imitate her outward manifestation of the beauty and surrendering of her heart to the Lord.

This is why I wear the veil. Again, this is the way in which Christ has manifested Himself to me personally. It is the way He has chosen to refresh my understanding of His majesty and the beautiful example of His mother in living the life of virtue. Your encounter with Him on this subject is likely to be different because of the relationship He is forming with you, His daughter He has so lovingly made unique in comparison to myself.

If you are hesitant, continue to seek the Lord. Continue to ask Him in all earnestness and He will make things clear to you. Who knows? You may find yourself donning the veil one day, a princess adorned with her crown entering the courts of the Lord.

In Him, 

Stephanie 

Feminists Might Hate Me

 So I’ve been having a lot of discussions about womanhood with my pals lately. And there is one area of womanhood that I have noticed most everyone is struck by in particular, and that is the dignity of woman as woman. Every person I have spoken to is always intrigued in some way by the topic of women’s dignity. I have found that it is an aspect of femininity that isn’t talked about or upheld nearly enough. Seriously. It doesn’t seem like that should be an issue, right? Look at our society today: women have rights all over the place and can do amazing things. Clearly we think that women have dignity these days. Or do we?

Check out a few of these sweet definitions of dignity from dictionary.com (in case you didn’t notice from my previous blog I am a big fan of definitions):

a formal, stately, or grave bearing

the state or quality of being worthy of honor

nobility or elevation of character

a sign or token of respect

I can say from my own life experience that it has been rare indeed that I have felt, specifically as a woman, that I have nobility and elevation of character. Oh, I have definitely felt that I possess those things as a human being. In fact I would say that I know that I am all of that good stuff up there because I am a human. But knowing I possess all of that not only because I am a human being, but specifically because I am a woman? Not exactly something I personally experience very often, nor a very prevalent thing in our society today.
People don’t recognize the true honor of being a woman. Woman is beautiful! She’s gorgeous and strong and wonderful! But thanks to our society and a misconception of true feminism, being beautiful and strong isn’t enough. We must become more masculine in the sense that we must be more successful in matters of business and worldly affairs than in caring for our children.  
Now I would like to take this moment to let you know that I am not a societal and feminism guru. I have not extensively studied these topics – I’m a full-time grad student with two jobs; I don’t exactly have tons of time to delve into the depths of our culture and feminism at this particular moment, but trust me, I am working on it. These are the conclusions I have come to as of this particular date in time based on my own personal observations and (albeit limited) readings – so I am not going to sit here and tell you that this is the be-all-end-all of women’s culture and feminism in our society. It just the general consensus I have found among those whom I have conversed with on this matter.

Dictionary.com (yay words!) says that feminism is: 

1) the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. 

2) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women. 

3) feminine character

As a matter of fact, that beautiful website goes on to tell us that in 1851 the word “feminism” actually meant the “state of being feminine,” but then in 1895 its meaning evolved into “advocacy of women’s rights.”
Now don’t get me wrong guys and gals; I’m totally for women’s rights, and I believe that women can, and should, do things for themselves. I am an extreme advocate of independence. Ask any of my friends or roommates and they will tell you that I am a foolish girl in that I like to do everything on my own – I have even been known, on multiple occasions, to have the notion to move myself out of my own home. Like I could carry a mattress up the stairs by myself. Right. (not for lack of trying…haha)


Women are most definitely strong and capable of taking on any of life’s challenges. Have you seen the women of this world? We are clearly able to do outstanding things. I love being a woman; it’s one of the greatest blessings I have ever been given, but in today’s society, I find it extremely challenging to know exactly what being a woman truly means. I believe this is due a great deal to a lack of an understanding of what true feminism is, and that is that women of a feminine character should have equal rights to men. Not women of a masculine character, which is what feminism has often been labeled as doing. Women should have equal rights to men while still maintaining their feminine dignity. 

But here’s the issue: women today are considered to be “dignified” in a very misconstrued way, rather than in the true feminine sense. Women are sexually objectified by our culture – take one look through a magazine or at a three minute commercial break and you’ll see it. Sure we see the beauty of women, but do we see it in the sense that she has a beauty and dignity as a person, and even more so as a woman? That she is more than just her body or the parts of her body? Furthermore, I was watching TV the other day and on a commercial for The View there was a quick clip where a woman claimed “Men love to control women.” (Granted, I do not know the context of this sentence, but the editor of the commercial didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t.) Women feel that they are being told what to do by men of the world, which is why we have women’s rights. But these rights don’t always have the best interest of women in mind. These rights can actually degrade the dignity of women and her feminine character. They can turn women and her body into objects and parts, rather than looking at her as body and soul. 


Finally, the last issue is that the measure of a women’s success is based on how much she is like a man. The more a woman achieves the things that men achieve, the more successful she is deemed to be. When is the last time you heard about a stay-at-home-mom being considered “successful” by society? But what if that’s how a particular woman feels successful? What if that is what her heart truly desires? Should she suppress the urge to use her natural, nurturing, feminine character that wants to just be a mom, and get a job to help pay the bills instead? How is that advocating for a woman’s true right? Shouldn’t her right be to be the woman she was naturally created to be if she wants to?

I like being a girl! I don’t know that I want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but I do know that I want to have the rights that men have as a woman. But I want them to give me the freedom and honor to be a woman, rather than suppressing that dignity. Fulton Sheen, ah, he’s so holy and so great, says this: 

“The Christian civilization never stressed equality in a mathematical sense, but only in the proportional sense, for equality is wrong when it reduces the woman to a poor imitation of man. Once woman became man’s mathematical equal, he no longer gave her a seat in a bus and no longer took off his hat in an elevator. (In a New York subway recently a man gave a woman his seat, and she fainted. When she revived, she thanked him, and he fainted.)” 
Bah! Love him.
I really hope what I’m saying makes sense. I know this has been a long post, but I wanted to take a couple more minutes of your time and have you check out just a few more super cool things about being a girl:
OK. Women. Let’s look at it this way. Women were made you know, somewhere around the beginning of time. If we want to take a look at woman from a completely natural perspective, we should look at how she is made, not only anatomically and physiologically, but also mentally. Not to discredit myself entirely, but I’m not a scientist, and I will admit right off the bat that these are not facts of life that I have extensively researched (I barely have time to sleep and do my homework) so this is a brief overview of things anyone can observe about men or women.

Woman is anatomically made for reception. She is also made in such a way that she is a natural provider for children. She can feed and nourish children from her very body. Let me be sure to say that this doesn’t mean woman is made only for bearing children. She can do many other things, this is just the way woman is naturally made. Men, on the other hand, are made for giving. Not only do we see that men give to women in the sense that they give in order to create, but they also are made to give protection and to provide for women through their strength, not only in the physical sense, but also in the sense that men protect the dignity of women. JPII, another super amazing man, says "For whenever man is responsible for offending a woman's personal dignity and vocation, he acts contrary to his own personal dignity and his own vocation."

Mentally, women are very internal and emotional. Sometimes this results in us doing seemingly psychotic things. It happens. Our emotions get the best of us. But that’s ok – we were made this way!  We just have to be careful about what we do with those emotions. Women are naturally emotional creatures. Men, on the other hand, are more logical and see things in a different light. They can look at a situation and keep their emotions out of it. Women have a much harder time doing this. For example, I was dating this guy once and having a hard time breaking up with him because of all the emotional attachments I had to him. As a girl, I was opening the doors to the closet of my life and looking at every drawer and seeing the way the relationship affected me as a whole – breaking up with my boyfriend would mean I would be alone; I might hurt his feelings; I wouldn’t have a date to my friend’s wedding; my family might not like him; his family might hate me; his cousins are so cute and fun to play with; he knows my best friend; he’s one of my best friends. I was thinking about all the connections and feeling nostalgic and remorseful about them, while he was opening up the one drawer in his life closet with my name on it going “hm. This drawer is kind of a mess. Probably should empty it.” That’s just how men roll.

The beauty of these differences is that these things help us to complete one another . These differences actually unite men and women. We are naturally made to complement one another!

And the best part about the way men and women are naturally made? God made nature! So when it says in Genesis 2:18 that God made Adam a helper fit for him, it wasn’t a helper to be his slave. It was a woman to complement Adam in all the ways that only a woman can. “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” 

So many people look at passages in the Bible about women and think, gosh, God is a woman hater. But not so! God sees the beauty of woman as a perfect piece of his creation! He wants women to be treated with dignity and respect. Eph 5:21-30 is one of the most controversial scripture verses because it is often misinterpreted. It’s actually calling men on to protect and uphold the dignity of women! Here, read this: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”
Ok, and think about this last little gem: St. Thomas Aquinas says (and I’m paraphrasing) “what is first in the order of intention, is last in the order of execution.” For example, if you are building a building, you would start out building it, and the last thing you would do would be to complete the building. Once you have laid the last brick you then have the thing you first intended to make: a building. So too with creation! Woman wasn’t an afterthought. God didn’t sit there and go, “Gee. Adam seems lonely. Maybe I should have done something extra for him.” No, he intended for woman to exist all along!
Now please don’t think that I’m saying women are better than men. Remember Gen 2:18? A helper fit for him, not a helper greater than him. I just wanted to highlight the significance and importance of woman so that you can recognize the dignity that we hold. And so you can also see that God really really likes women, and he has a specific place and role for them in the world that naturally involves us being more feminine, not masculine. 

I want to leave you with one last brilliant thing by my man Fulton Sheen:
“The level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood… When man loves woman, it follows that the nobler the woman, the nobler the love; the higher the demands made by the woman, the more worthy a man must be. That is why woman is the measure of our civilization.” 
(hey, didn’t a couple of those definitions of dignity way back at the beginning involve nobility and worthiness? Hey now FJS, I think you’re on to something…!)

So ladies, keep your standards high. Recognize your true beauty and dignity. Let men see it, and let your confidence in your womanhood inspire them to reach to new heights and levels of nobility. Let your femininity complement and draw out the masculinity that is in all of our brothers, and perhaps true feminism will come to exist in our society. 

-Ashley 

Open the Door to Your Heart

Once upon a time, little girls dreamed about finding their prince charming.  They watched fairy tales and heard about the princess finally finding her true love.  The tale had a love story that captured the heart of every woman.  She longed to be that princess who fell in love and hoped that she too would also find that prince charming.

You might ask, “What happened to that girl?  That used to be me, but somehow, it all slipped away.  Somewhere along the way, we lose touch with our dreams, and more importantly, our hearts.  We settle for less than we dreamed.  We used to wait for prince charming to come our way, but we settle for the frog.   Our society tells us that prince charming doesn’t exist.  It tells us that we are not good enough.  It tells us that marriages don’t last, or nothing is perfect.  A world filled with broken marriages and hearts broken turns this fairy tale into an old wise tale.  

The problem with the fairy tale not existing anymore is that our hearts begin to harden.  Our hearts are the core of our very self.  It tells us when we are happy, hurt, or mad.  When we stop listening to our heart, we stop listening to ourselves.  We become like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz who says, “If I only had a heart.” Little did we know at the beginning of that movie, Scarecrow already had a heart, he just didn’t know it.  There’s only a little bit of time before we are the scarecrow wondering, what happened to my heart?

It doesn’t take much to make the heart beat again.  It’s seeing that old couple walk by.  They hold hands as if they were back in the high school hallways when they first fell in love.  Or it’s watching a cheesy girly movie where the girl and guy finally get together at the end of the story after much missed opportunities and conflict in the plot.  Or it’s looking through your parents’ wedding pictures and seeing how in love they once were.  My favorite memory was listening to my grandmother’s stories about how much my grandfather loved her.  She’d say, “He loved me so much, he didn’t want me to lift a finger.  He even washed my socks in the sink for me.”  When we see or hear love stories, our hearts skip a beat for minute and we feel that thing, once called a heart, comes alive again.  But, all too soon, our minds take over and tell us the lie, “But it’s only a fairy tale.”

How many times do we fall into this?  How many days have passed by without you listening to your heart?  Whether it’s 1 day, 6 months or 10 years, you can still find your heart again.  There may have been a break up or a story you heard that lied to your heart that told you, “It’s just not going to happen for you.”  I’m here to tell you it can.  Just like the fairy tales say, “Don’t stop believing.”  

As we look to the movies or books and see that each one has some climax in the story, we can look to our lives and realize ours does as well.  There may be struggles along the way, but we have to get through the struggle to get to our dream.  Dreams are worth fighting for.  They are what we are made for.  Sometimes, the hardest thing is fighting for what we want.  We tend to give up too easy, thinking it’s out of our reach.  Little do we know, it’s when we are just about to give up, our dream is waiting for us around the corner.  We just needed to hold on a little longer.

Life is too short to let it pass by.  Each moment in time is a gift that we need to cherish.  If we stop cherishing the moments, we stop living life.  What do you want your life filled with?  Do you want it filled with a fairy tale that you once believed would come true?  Then, don’t stop dreaming and believing that it could happen to you.  Let your heart awaken again and give it a chance to love.  It may be wounded and scared, but remind it that its’ happiness lies in love, and though there may be a chance it could hurt again, tell your heart to rest assured knowing that only wounded hearts love the most.  

Don’t be afraid to start today.  Your heart is waiting for you to open its’ door again.  Go deep inside and see what’s there. You’ll be surprised to see that little girl is waiting at the door of your heart saying, “I thought you would never come back because you stopped coming to me,”  She’ll then open the door and welcome you with open arms and invite you inside your heart.  It’ll be like you never left.  And there, just there, you will find what you have always been looking for…your dreams that will lead to a love that never fails.  A love that never stops beating.  A love that takes a breath every second of the day.  And, you will say, “I can’t believe I ignored you for so long,”  But that’s the great thing about being a heart, it forgets the wrongs and is just happy to have you back. It just loves to be loved.  

There’s not much difference between us and our hearts.  We just want to be loved and we can’t give up until we have found that love.  So, take some time and look into your heart.  What do you want?  What desires are still there?  You may find that the fairy tale is still there.  This time, tell your heart a different story, “Dreams really do come true, just hold on and wait and see.”

I'm Pregnant!

Okay I am not exactly pregnant.  I am 19 years old and I am in college, but do I long to be pregnant in a different way? Yes! Not in the kind of way where I eat for two, or glow from excitement, or gain weight, or receive gifts from my loved ones for my child, but in the kind of way where I eat the everlasting food of Christ, glow with God’s joy, gain people for the Lord’s army, and recognize the beauty and gifts the Lord gives to all of His children.  I long to be impregnated in this way and in the kind of way Blessed John Paul II talks about in Mulieris Dignitatem where he says:

But the hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved.  That is why, at this moment when the human race is under-going so deep a transformation, women impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid mankind in not falling.

WOW! Women, yes, women have the power to keep mankind from falling.  This beautiful imagery Blessed John Paul II gives is a lesson for us all: the world needs women. Women who are at peace with themselves and know with all their being who the Lord is. This joy and love for the Lord is no doubt contagious and intriguing for those around us and by that very nature we can save our world.  

We live in a culture of death.  A culture that kills over 3,000 innocent babies each day, a culture with a divorce rate of 45.8%, a culture that says euthanasia is acceptable and encouraged, a culture where our religious freedom is being attacked and culture that promotes so many more evils.  To combat these evils we need to cultivate life.  

We live in a truly scary time. But there is hope.  We as women are that hope.  Jesus Christ has already saved us from death, but He is counting on us to bring people to His Kingdom.  Women have an irreplaceable role to play in the world.  Women are unique because we can bear life - no man has this power or this gift.  Inside every little girl and every woman we have an inherent long to bear life, to nurture it and watch it grow.  Whether that means taking care of our baby dolls when we were five years old, loving a child of our own, or nurturing all of God’s children through different acts of service.  

For this reason alone Satan hates women, he despises them.  Satan hates life and we are the only ones who can create life with God’s power.  This is why Satan first tempted Eve rather than Adam in the Garden of Eden - he knew of her power. It says in Genesis 3:15, “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; He shall crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”  This means there is enmity between the woman (Mary) and the serpent (Satan) and she crushes his head.  Woman has a special role in God’s saving plan.  

We as women have so much God given power that we can influence good or evil.  Our very feminine nature and our internal beauty can aid in mankind not falling, but we can also aid in the fall.  We can affect our work places, our schools, our churches, our families, and our friends. We have serious questions to ask ourselves.  Can we take on this tough, yet rewarding challenge?  Do we love the Lord enough to say “no” to ourselves and “yes” to God’s beautiful mission?  Do you want to turn this culture of death we are living in to a culture of life?

To say “yes” to these questions you must read the Word of God and go deeper with the Lord so you too can be impregnated with the Spirit of the Gospel.  But how do we make that happen? Who should we look to as a model for our lives when all we see are women disrespecting themselves, disrespecting men and disrespecting the Lord?  Look to the women of the Gospel and most importantly to Mary, the one who was literally impregnated with the Spirit of the Gospel, Jesus Christ Himself.  She needs to be the model of our lives.  After Jesus Christ, Mary was the most important person on earth.  If your desire is for Heaven, you MUST desire to live a life like Mary. Before she could receive Christ in her womb she had to receive Him in her heart.  Luke 2:19 says, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Mary is perfect and yet she still put thought into her “yes.”  That is what we must do. We must be docile and open and reflective just as Mary was.  Let His word take root so it can bear fruit in our lives.

I pray for all of you sisters.  I pray that as women we can be strong and realize how important and necessary we are for God’s saving plan on earth.  The Lord is counting on YOU. He is calling you to take hold of your femininity and your uniqueness and reverse the culture of death we are living in.  We have been given the gift to create and love life, whatever your vocation may be.  Nothing else sanctifies your womb better than His Word, so allow yourself to be impregnated with the Spirit of the Gospel. You won't regret it. 

In Him,

Olivia Cundiff

Classy Modest

After enjoying a delicious shrimp dinner from King's Fish House, I was quite content with my first evening back in California.  Unfortunately that was quickly disturbed when a woman, who was rather tall, walked by me pushing a stroller wearing a black tank top and black booty shorts that generously exposed the bottom of her butt every time she stepped forward.  While this woman was in excellent shape, this should still be considered completely inappropriate attire to wear at any time outside of pajamas.  With that, I have decided to make this blog not only my journey toward an inner peace and beauty, but also an outward one.  I hate the phrase "Modest is hottest" because in my personal opinion.....it isn't.  Modesty makes people think of being prudish, wearing turtlenecks and jean skirts down to the floor.  This is not my definition of modesty. 

Sexy is defined as being concerned predominantly or excessively with sex.  It is synonyms with provocative and suggestive, and the word originally means "engrossed in sex."  Being dressed "sexy" will give most women the attention from men they seek, thinking this attention will fill the void they feel in their heart.  I see the appeal...what woman doesn't want to feel attractive and desired?  Our heart is satisfied with love, not with sex but we seem to think dressing ourselves "engrossed in sex" is going to give us love.  It doesn't make sense.  Modesty on the other hand is defined as: being FREE from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions; Having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress.  I have read through those definitions multiple times and there is nothing in there about being prudish.  What I read is something along the lines of being classy (defined as elegant and stylish).  No, modesty is not sexy, but if any man is asked to describe me, do I want him to say elegant or suggestive?  I want to be respectable and classy.

I love fashion, I love being a woman, and this is how I respect my body and my femininity.  I strive to be classy modest -- elegant and stylish while being free of vanity and exercising decency in behavior, speech, and dress.

Respect your body.  Respect your dignity.  Be a woman of grace, poise, and elegance.

-Cayce

He's Just That Into You

You deserved to be pursued. Yes, you, the foxy lady reading this blog. You’re smart, gorgeous, and amazing. Men should be chasing you down every single day. But chances are… they aren’t. And I want to tell you that’s ok – because it is. But that’s hard to hear. And I’ve found that this is a growing concern I among my female friends – that men aren’t chasing them, and they don’t think this is ok. They want the whole princess fairytale ending thing, and if it doesn’t come to them, they’re going to go out and get it themselves.

Because if men aren’t going to take matters into their own hands we women should.

False.

Ladies, we are absolutely not supposed to chase men down. They pursue us. It’s in their very nature. Men are hunters. Kings of pursuit! They like to chase things. They get some sort of weird satisfaction from it. And once they’ve got what they’ve been chasing, they are very happy. Because they love to win. I bet it’s because winning usually results in super amazing prizes. And you, my dear, are one amazing prize.

One of my favorite quotes about men and the nature of pursuit is

from the book He’s Just Not That Into You. It says this:

“Many women have said to me, ‘Greg, men run the world.’ Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we’re ‘too shy’ or we ‘just got out of something.’ Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you.”

That seems pretty straightforward. I rest my case. You deserve to be pursued. Let the man pursue.

Now, while you’re hanging out being all awesome and cute and stuff, waiting around for that guy to come after you, I’d like to point out something else super important: you are already being pursued. Right now.

(No way?!)

Yeah. Check it out, Church Doctrine says: “The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself” (Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 27).

Did you catch that? I’m not sure if you really caught it. It was a pretty short quote. Let’s take a look at it again, a little closer this time: “God never ceases to draw man to himself.”

NEVER.

As in always.

As in non-stop.

As in dictionary.com’s definition: 1) not ever; at no time 2) not at all; absolutely not 3) to no extent or degree

To no extent or degree does God stop pursuing you!

And hey, let’s keep reading, because guess what? It gets better! CCC 27 goes on to say “Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.”

Now wait a second. We need to pause here for just a minute, because I totally know what you are thinking. Your mind has been blown by the very definition of the word “never,” and you are pretty excited about that. But you might still be thinking something like, “you know Ash, I know God loves me and wants to be in a relationship with me. I got that covered. But I still think that if I just had the love of a man, I would be happy.” (don’t feel bad if you have these thoughts. I am guilty of having had them before too. Stay tuned!)

Oh hey 1 John 4:8, I think I almost missed you sitting there in the Bible being all awesome and one-liney and stuff. What’s that you say? “God is love?” Wait. God is, by biblical definition, love? And hang on, what’s that one super famous Bible verse… something about love… oh, yeah, 1 Corinthians 13? It goes on and on about love and all its qualities? Well, as Professor Rice once said to my class, “Why would you ever paraphrase Scripture? Who can say it better than God?” So without further ado:

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Ok. Now let’s process all of this. Here, I’ll even help break it down:

We want to be pursued? Check. God never ceases to do so.

We want to find love? Perfect, beautiful, blissful love, with a wonderful man who will do anything for us and we can live happily ever after with? Check, check, check. God is love. And he’s seeking us, right? And we have a definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13 that sounds pretty perfect to me… so therefore, one could draw the conclusion that (drum roll please) perfect, beautiful Love is seeking us out! Love from a wonderful man whose very essence is love! And guess what else? He is willing to do anything for us (even die!) so that we can spend eternity with him and live happily ever after in the heavenly kingdom of God!

P.S. You know who has kingdoms? Kings. And what exactly are the daughters of kings called? Oh yeah, princesses. So God has this kingdom… and he wants you there forever… his daughter whom he loves…because that would bring both you and him joy for all eternity. Check out Romans 8:15-17: “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry ‘Abba! Father!’ it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” (spoiler alert: as a child of the Most High King… you’re a princess)

And hey, if love is calling on us, we should probably answer. We don’t just let our pals call us all the time and ignore them, right? We probably generally respond with something like “sure, I’ll hang out with you,” and from there we begin to develop a deeper relationship by spending time together doing friendly bonding activities. It works the same with the Lord; we’ve got to respond. And remember back in CCC 27 where it said that “only in God will he find truth and happiness”? Well CCC 30 says this too: “Although man can forget God or reject him, He never ceases to call every man to seek him, so as to find life and happiness.” Whoa. Even if we forget God, he still calls us to him because he still wants us to find happiness. I started thinking about that one. If someone forgets me, do I still call them unceasingly? I don’t know about you, but I all too often find myself thinking thoughts like a thinking thing that sound something like this: “Well, I’ve already invited this person out three times, and they declined every time, so they must not want to hang out; I’m done inviting.” God never does that. He never stops inviting us to love him back, and he never stops loving us. Holymoly. I don’t know about you, but I am a total slacker when it comes to loving.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: we all want the fairytale ending. We all want to be princesses who meet our handsome prince. He comes and sweeps us off our feet and takes us off into the sunset where we live happily ever after, and we just sit there looking pretty the whole time. Well, ladies, we have that! If we but let the Lord into our hearts we can have it right this very second! (Just don’t forget that God will never force you to love him; if you want this great gift, you have to say “yes” to the prince!)

I’d like to show you one last cool thing. Check this out:

What are the elements to a fairytale ending?

1)       Royalty – done. God is king. Jesus is Prince of Peace. Lord of Lords. Duke of Heaven (I made that last one up. Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

2)       A kingdom to ride off to at the end of the day – done. The kingdom of heaven, where happiness abides for all eternity. BOOM.

3)       A prince who seeks us out, no matter the cost – done. God wouldn’t care if he had to try shoes on every woman in the world. If it meant he could have you, he’d do it. Oh wait, you fell into a coma and everyone considers you dead? God can raise people from the death of sin to the life of grace! You’re trapped in a tower with your evil stepmother? God will take you from the clutches of evil every single time if you let him! You’re anatomically disadvantaged like Ariel? God can heal you and return you to your proper state of being! He has that power! Don’t sweep it under the rug Cinderella! (I don’t know about you, but I think I’m swooning over here …ijgarihgerhioarekjsjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj Oh, sorry! Swooned right onto my keyboard. Moving on…)

4)       A prince who will never leave us – done. Must I define the word “never” again?

5)       A damsel in distress – done. Hello every girl in the world.

6)       A fiat – can be done. You just need to say yes.

7)       A happy ending – done. See above.

Did you see how God did that? Oh hey, God, you’re a super genius.

There’s only one problem left to resolve: we can’t fall in love with someone if we don’t allow ourselves to actually fall. Let Jesus sweep you off your feet. Let him lead you to your happily ever after in eternity. Let him show you what true, authentic, perfect love is. Let him pursue you, and you will find the fairytale ending you’ve been searching for.

Your swooning, fellow fairytale princess,

Ashley