How often we hold onto things in our lives. Have you ever witnessed this kind of incident (or been a part of it)? A child is holding onto something they shouldn’t, and an adult is trying to get the child to give it up. The child rarely gives it up without a fight, probably with some tears, but finally the adult’s coaxing and/or strong fingers pries open the tiny fist and removes the object from the child’s grasp.
How applicable is that to our spiritual lives?
I’m not just talking about the material things in our life, for this post I’m focusing on people in our lives. A lot of confusion and hurt can result from us clinging desperately onto different people in our lives. I’ve been noticing this in certain relationships I call the “security blanket relationships”. Security blanket relationships are relationships (friendship or romantic) we hold onto in our lives out of fear that can keep us from loving others and most especially Christ with our full heart. Many times these relationships are ones that are not even grounded in reality, the ones that lead us into the torturous Land of What-Ifs. Be it past relationships or relationships that you long for, when we hold onto these relationships such that we are pulled from Christ, that is the time when we must let them go.
It is not the desire to be loved or even the people themselves that are bad. The problem is when we allow these relationships, whether actual or desired, to fill our fists and make it more difficult to embrace Christ. By letting go of one of these relationships, I mean that we give them up to Christ and allow Him to fill us instead and heal our hearts. Sometimes we hold onto these relationships and we’re not really sure why. I think it’s because we tend to view it subconsciously as a sort of identity, something to hold onto to keep us safe and still.
Do you remember when you were first learning to swim? The moments of panic when you found yourself suddenly without any support and the violent blind thrashing of limbs as you tried desperately to cling to something- anything- to keep yourself from drowning (even if the swim instructor was right beside you or if you had a life vest)? This perfectly human reaction is what keeps us tied to these phantom relationships, this fear of the unknown, of how we will identify ourselves, of how we will occupy our thoughts.
Let them go.
Unclench the fist and relinquish it to Christ. If it is a past relationship, learn from it but don’t let it keep you from loving others. If it is a potential relationship that is consuming you or causing you grief, let the Holy Spirit take a look at it. Release it into His care and let Him lead you in your future actions. Root your identity in Christ, without clinging to other relationships. They don’t define you. Please do not be afraid to let go! There’s a quote by Patrick Overton that says, “When you come to the edge of all the light that you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on- or you will be taught how to fly.”
Angela Thomas says in A Beautiful Offering, “"When a woman has a kingdom heart, she has an active understanding of what matters most to the heart of God. She lives in the balance of passion and contentment. She learns to love well, give without regard to self, and forgive without hesitation. The woman with a kingdom heart may have a duffel bag full of possessions or enough treasures to fill a mansion, but she has learned to hold them with an open hand. Hold everything with open hands. I don't think we are ever allowed to grab hold of anything or anyone as though they matter more than the kingdom of heaven. When you hold relationships with open hands, then people come in and out of your life as gifts of grace to be cherished and enjoyed, not objects to be owned and manipulated. And then when you hold your dreams with open hands, you get to watch God resurrect what seemed dead and multiply what seemed small."
Our hearts were not made to linger in the Land of What-Ifs. So work with Christ to heal and gently loosen your heart’s hold on these chaining thoughts. It’s not always easy and it usually won’t happen quickly, but Love is patient and Love is kind. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.
So just let go.
Your Sister in Christ,
Jenny
p.s. Happy New Year!!
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